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Mette Poynton

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Feminism and Sexism: Not the Same Thing!

Posted: 11/12/2012 13:15

I believe that feminism, in its original "form", is an irrelevant concept. What we need instead, is to tackle sexism and encourage men as well as women to change their perception of both genders.

I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago named "Feminism is Over" - some women agreed with me on my points of view, some didn't. And that's okay, of course, if we all agreed on everything, what fun would conversation be?

But what all the different points of view basically mean, is that the word and concept of Feminism is very misunderstood - dare I say, by many of those calling themselves Feminists. I my opinion, what we need to tackle now is sexism on both sides of the fence - sexism towards women as well as towards men.

In the beginning of the 1900's, The Suffragettes fought for women's right to vote, a fight that lasted until 1928 when all women over the age of 21 were given the right to vote alongside men. Approximately 35 years later in the 1960's, the feminist movement began, a movement working towards ending women's traditional roles as housewives. The feminists fought for a change in the way people saw women, they wanted the world to know that women had the right and the ability to do anything men can do. Back then, the feminist movement was necessary and women wouldn't have been equal to men today, had it not been for the women who fought so hard then.

In my blog post the other day, where I looked at my own personal situation, I stated the following:

In my opinion, the feminists' fight is over... the hard part is done and it's time to find a balance rather than claim our women's rights at any cost! Because there is a cost. The price of feminism is that family life takes a backseat and this is a price I'm not willing to pay. I understand that some women may happily pay this price to get ahead fast in business, but I think many pay the price because they feel they have to, not because it is their first choice

Some of the comments I got from feminists were quite harsh - one feminist just chose to shake her head in disbelief hash tag style on Twitter. But all the comments I got from women who agreed with me were... well, thankful. They agreed with me and they thought it was great that someone voiced what was essentially their view on this matter.

I was inspired to write the blog post after reading an interview with Carla Bruni - she stated the following:

We don't need to be feminist in my generation. There are pioneers who opened the breach.
I'm not at all an active feminist. On the contrary, I'm a bourgeois. I love family life, I love doing the same thing every day.

She was later slated by feminists like Lucy Mangan on Stylist Magazine and Barbara Ellen on The Observer whose pieces on her views were the perfect examples of the type of feminist I so strongly disagree with, which is the kind that resorts to nasty name calling and verbal mud slinging when encountering a woman who does not share their beliefs. These are the kind of feminists who are their own worst enemies, they think they should be given all kinds of advantages simply BECAUSE they are women - if that is not inequality, what is?

And this brings me to my point in today: I strongly believe that Feminism IS over. What's alive and well, however, is Sexism and that is a subject ALL people, men as well as women, should concern themselves with. Feminism deals with unfairness and ineaquality towards women, sexism with unfairness and inequality towards both sexes. We need to bring up our sons and daughters in a world where women and men don't conform to pre-conceived notions about gender, something that cannot be accomplished through feminism.

So please, dear feminists, don't bully those who don't share your beliefs, don't be extremists and give what was a very worthwhile and completely necessary cause a bad name, let's fight together for true equality instead.

 

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08:47 on 16/12/2012
Feminism: "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes."
(Mirriam -Webster definition)
How could anyone possibly be against that?

The logic in this blog fails miserably.
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Mette Poynton
07:31 on 17/12/2012
I'm not against the concept of feminism... you're right, how could anyone be against that concept?

I'm also not against the suffragettes, for instance... I just don't think it's a current topic anymore, so I think we should concentrate on current issues rather than those of the past.
08:28 on 16/12/2012
Feminism : "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism)

How could any logical person be against that? This blog fails miserably on so many levels.
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BarryMayor
04:51 on 21/12/2012
The reality of feminism doesn't match this definition.
19:43 on 13/12/2012
I still do not understand why you are so against the word feminist. I know it is misunderstood, but so are the words democrat and republican. It will always be impossible to completely understand a label that covers a large group of people.

What I understand about feminism is that it advocates for all genders. To me, it says your sex (and I would add sexual orientation) does not have to define your role in life. This means working to remove the political, economic, and social barriers that keep people from being who they want to be. I would fight just as hard for a man who wants to be accepted for his feminine traits as I would for a female who wants to be accepted for her masculine traits. And for those who fit into traditional gender roles, I would never want to stop you from succeeding in your own role as long as it does not impose on other people's rights.

I know we all have different ideas surrounding the word, and they may be misguided at times, but waging a war on the word is not the answer. You're telling people to disregard all living feminists, even those who agree with you.
12:40 on 13/12/2012
First of all, when you say: 'The price of feminism is that family life takes a backseat and this is a price I'm not willing to pay.' Why does demanding that women's rights are always respected carries the cost of family life taking a back seat? Why doesn't family life sit with both men and women? Why is the man involved exonerated from taking care of family life/children? Because the fundamental role of the woman is to stay at home with the children while the men go out to work/lead the world? Does this not perpetuate the secondary roles of women in society and therefore makes it more difficult for women to make sure they are equal and respected if they are tucked away at home? The second issue I have is with your statement that feminism is over, while sexism is not. Are you trying to say here that men suffer discrimination in the same way as women? This is simply not the case, again, maybe don’t just think about your own little reality (London/UK/Europe). Women are still the main victims of discrimination, violence, lack of support, derision, murder fulled by men’s idea that they are their possession and if they dare raising their heads they need to be destroyed. This is a fact. And this is why, us women, need to be out there raising our heads, always vigilant, always feminists, whatever meaning you give to the word. Feminism is still desperately needed.
08:58 on 13/12/2012
Feminism = paranoid obsession over female victimhood and marginalization of male victimhood.

Men will tackle sexism when you bigoted feminists start tackling anti-male sexism.
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BarryMayor
04:53 on 21/12/2012
That's not possible. Anti-male sexism is part and parcel of modern-day feminism. Tackling anti-male sexism would require feminism in its current state to be totally dismantled.
08:11 on 13/12/2012
There is a real problem with this. While we continue to have Tribunals stacked in favour of women. Changing feminism to sexism will change nothing as men's complaints about sexism by women will be ignored and thrown out.

Bev.
01:30 on 13/12/2012
People generally react in a negative manner when you choose to make sweeping, judgmental statements about their ideologies. I wonder why.
18:43 on 13/12/2012
The White Power and the Neo-Nazis agree with you IamtheKitty.
20:31 on 13/12/2012
Godwin's law.
17:52 on 12/12/2012
Feminists seem to have little tolerance towards women who don't follow their rigid ideology.
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Mette Poynton
18:55 on 12/12/2012
Exactly!
08:35 on 16/12/2012
That's such a blanket statement to make. "Rigid" in what way?