THE BLOG

Forensic Files

19/09/2014 12:39 BST | Updated 19/11/2014 10:59 GMT

As you know from my last blog, I was spending the first half of September traveling down the east coast of America with my....Muse? Partner? Lobster? ( taken from Friends ) I sometimes think saying boyfriend sounds a bit teenagery so never really sure what to say... But anyway, you get the idea.

We were there to take in some scenery, visit my partner in crime/ best friend and I had a couple of gigs booked. The one thing that left me quite gobsmacked about our journey was how one place to the next were like whole different worlds. New York: modern, trendy, chic, expensive. Daytona Beach: three dollar rounds (really!), painted live crabs and many people with most of their teeth missing. Then there was Orlando: meals for one that could feed five, obese people in electric chairs and heat that nearly knocked us unconscious. But for me, the most interesting part of Orlando was the TV. One night there was a crazy storm so we stayed in with a box of Lucky Charms and some Bud lime- a -ritas. What we found was 44 channels of either people selling food products, true crime documentaries or Spanish soap operas. And every ten minutes there would be a mountain of adverts, selling food products, selling fast food, and selling, well, food. These adverts would last a good ten minutes, and then we would have to see them all over again ten minutes later.

We ended up watching a crime documentary called Forensic Files, which was really interesting. It showed us how every murderer would always leave the tiniest bit of evidence for forensic people to crack the case. The channel played one series back to back so after twelve episodes about murder, homicide, manslaughter and bizarre affairs. I found myself getting really in to it, almost a bit TOO much.

I was almost disappointed when we woke the next morning to find the storm had passed and a clear blue sky. So there I was in a 40 degree heat, ready to slide at the water park and visit tropical animals, when all I wanted to do was stay in and watch Forensic Files.

Luckily for my.. Muse, partner, lobster boyfriend, my sanity and my arse, they only played that one series on a loop so once we had seen them all, that was it. However, I did find myself sneaking on a replayed episode while the lobster boyfriend was in the shower. Until I found out that all the series where on YouTube! Sixteen whole series with up to thirty, yes thirty episodes in each to watch! I questioned if my excitement was normal and tried to keep it under control.

So I'm back in London now, jet lagged but ready for some good stand up gigs coming my way. And as you have guessed, I'm spending my evenings watching Forensic files on YouTube. If you have a morbid curiosity for murder and odd, moustached people from Texas, give it a whirl.