It might seem like an unholy pairing but we go back years, the Sally Army and me. They have always managed to build a bridge to me across my life - from saints to a sinner! They saved kids near my street when I was a boy with their food kitchens, helped me as a care worker and have supported people I know. That's why I have chosen to do a TV show with them. Everyone remembers the Sally Army, as I used to call them, I'm just not sure everyone quite knows the extent of the work they do. It's their 150th anniversary year so I wanted to take a closer look and get involved.
A young boy - a 14-year-old - lay sobbing in his bed. For eight minutes he had been dragged, marched and restrained across the prison. Worse, as we examined the footage of the restraint we saw the fingers of a duty operations manager - one of the most senior floor staff at the prison - close around the windpipe of a 14-year-old, of a child. The boy was crying out "I can't breathe".
Whilst no-one has gone quite as outré as Ian with the decorations, everyone's still making the most of the time available to perfect the presentation. Everyone, that is, except Mat, who sits calmly drinking a cup of tea and picking at his leftover ingredients while the others sweat over the intricacies of their showstoppers.
Bread week starts with plenty of shots of our intrepid tensome looking all kinds of worried, and it's no surprise. The prospect of a weekend of yeast-based fun means Paul Hollywood gets the opportunity do what he loves the most: prowl around Britain's most famous tent and judge amateurs while his smug-o-meter goes off the scale.
You sit back in your armchair, pick up the television remote control and click the screen on. After a moment of warming up, the picture displays itself into your house, with the volume slightly too loud from the last time you were watching telly, and you hurriedly press the minus key to try and get the sound to pipe down a bit. It only works after you smack the batteries on the back and jab a little bit of life into them...
Making a sweet fruit loaf may not initially seem like the hardest task in the world, but we're at the quarter-final stage of this year's Great British Bake Off, and things aren't as simple as they first seem. So, not only do our five bakers have to make their loaves with enriched dough - notoriously tricky to work with - but also have only two and a half hours in which to complete the task...
For the showstopper, or should I say, choux-stopper (totally copyrighting that pun), our brave, baking adventurers must make two dozen éclairs; twelve of one flavour and twelve of another. Kate, Luis and Chetna all decide to flavour their choux pastry, with Kate adding Greek basil to the dough that will form the base to her lemon meringue éclairs.
Do you ever think that the people behind The Great British Bake Off might be running out of episode ideas? I only ask because episode six of the 2014 incarnation has as its theme 'European cakes', which sounds very much like a 5pm-on-a-Friday idea to me. Anyway, I can't be too concerned about that because my main concern is who is going to be my new baking hero following Norman's ignominious sortie last week.