It is the same thing every year; as soon as December 1st rears its head us Christmas lovers go into meltdown. We have this deep need that grows every year to make this Christmas the best Christmas yet and whether it's even more decorations and lights or more pots of twiglets than your family can physically consume, no expense is spared and no detail left out. That being said (and please bear in mind I do actually LOVE Christmas) does anyone else ever feel like the fantasy you build in your head never actually transpires into real life?
Drinking Hot Chocolate or Mulled Wine and consuming copious amounts of mince pies because it is December.
What could be better than hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows warming you up at the Christmas market or a tipple of mulled wine or cider? How about filling up on every mince pie that is offered to you because it would be rude not to right? That's why we love December after all, because we don't care what we eat or drink and calories consumed in this month don't count anyway.
Feeling fat, bloated and unable to fit into your favourite jeans come Christmas day.
By January 1st (or December 10th if you're anything like me) we feel so overdone with booze, Turkey and sweet stuff that we have forgotten what it feels like to wake up in the morning without a bloated belly or that dread of whether you will be able to get certain clothes over your thighs. If you eat crap, you feel crap. Nuff said.
Having a house full of beautiful Christmas decorations, lights and knick knacks.
Extensive planning goes into your decorations; fairy lights in every window, a beautiful huge tree full of gorgeous baubles. Stand up Santas and reindeer in the hall, the front garden adorned with light up paraphernalia, wall hangings replacing family photos. Wow, your house will look like a real life Winter Wonderland and people will flock from far and wide to see it.
Being too skint to actually buy all that you want and too fed up of the kids touching everything after a week of the tree being up.
After the umpteenth time of picking up your fallen baubles or binning broken miniatures from your winter window display the novelty soon wears off. That and when you realise you will need to re mortgage to buy all of the stuff you actually want to put in the house, you soon realise that it makes sense to go for the 'less is more' option.
Layering up with jumpers and coats and feeling stylish in hats and scarves.
Every blogger and fashion magazine make winter look so glamorous it's no wonder we all look forward to the colder weather if just to look cool and effortless in a faux fur gillet and boots.
It's freezing, you need tons of layers and you don't look glamorous.
The reality is if it is cold enough to warrant wearing hats and gloves then it is probably bloody freezing. Cue tons of layers and struggling to put your coat on (then struggling to pull the sleeves of all of your layers back down) wrapping the scarf around your face, hat over your ears and chunky knit gloves. It just isn't the same. You end up looking like a bulky yeti (especially if you have indulged in faux fur) rather than a glamorous magazine model, especially when you add in pink cheeks, watery eyes and knotty hair from the wind.You also probably have a cold too, at least you're warm!
Spending quality time with the family.
You can picture Christmas day now; everyone together around the table laughing and joking, eating lots of delicious food and then afterwards you play games together for hours. Come the evening you're all in festive pyjamas and enjoying a cheeseboard with Christmas classics playing on repeat. What a magical, wonderful day it will be.
Nobody got your 'picture perfect' Christmas memo.
Whoever is cooking is stressed and already on the prosecco by 11am, kids are arguing over everything and the house is still a tip when everyone is due in half an hour. People are complaining they're hungry and asking if you can turn the music off because they're fed up after hearing Wham! for the fifth time. Everyone overeats at Christmas dinner and is too tired to do anything after let alone play games (and there are always one or two who don't want to), no one can even think about tucking into your epic cheeseboard even though dinner was five hours ago and you are left with mountains of washing up and enough Turkey to feed a small country.
Taking the little one to meet Father Christmas and making magical memories.
You eagerly build up the meeting of Father Christmas with your little one and their face lights up with excitement. They practice what present they are going to ask for (puzzles in the case of my two year old) It will be so exciting and you will all treasure the memories forever.
Your child HATES every moment and is terrified of the old man in red.
Up until the point they clock eyes on him, they are excited and eager to experience this whole charade. Then you see it; the fear takes over. Father Christmas is actually really scary. They run away (in the case of my little one) they cry, they hide, the scream, they don't want to sit on his lap and even the prospect of a present doesn't ease their woes. WHY DO WE DO IT? I kind of feel as though I am mean if I haven't taken her to meet Father Christmas and so it is now a mandatory part of the festive season whether she likes it or not. And she really doesn't like it.
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