THE BLOG

Why My Brother's the Majesticest (Yes, That's a Word) Person in the World

19/02/2014 11:45 | Updated 21 April 2014

bro sis majesty

Arms like Thor's hammer, brain of Einstein's descendant, heart of a thousand puppies. Financial analyst, serious Apple geek, proud PS4 owner, a fantastic motorcyclist and an incredible person.

I'm talking of course about my brother. Kind of feels like I'm writing this on an online dating profile at this point, but just go with it.

In light of our Month of Kinship campaign, I wanted to give a shout out to my brother for always being there for me and for being perpetually awesome.

People tend to look at me funny when I use serious bike terminology, like 'traction control', or when they find out I'm aware of all Play Station games, and keep up with all the new technology (GoPro anyone?) - let alone my extremely unlady-like cursing that would even make a truck driver cringe.

It's all because I grew up with an older brother - I always say - and I wouldn't have it any other way.

We had the usual annoying brother-sister relationship growing up, and then all of the sudden as we got older, we started doing things together and became a team. We're incredibly similar and different at the same time.

We're both total coffee addicts, it's actually gotten to a point where we have no shame turning on the Nespresso machine at 8pm just because we feel like having a cup of caramel/vanilla majesty.

My morning routine for instance consists of making two coffees, one for myself (at the pace of Zeus' lightning bolts), the other one for my brother, which may only be served in a carefully selected Xmas edition Starbucks mug (acquired by 'The Sis') filled up with hot water and then the universe stops for a second and the Quantum physics defying movement of adding a 'splash' of milk fills the kitchen with tension.

Yep, he recently decided he doesn't want the milk to overshadow the rest of the coffee. True story. I just love him.

Also, we're notorious for those incredibly stupid puns that just hurt your brain because they make no sense, but we don't care we just laugh hysterically for hours.

For his birthday I put a bottle of Honey Jack Daniels in a bag that had a silver star on it, which instantly made us both think of the Japanese ninja star but we couldn't remember the name of it.

So then half an hour later he randomly blurts out: "You think I could drink the whole bottle? SHUR-I-KEN." Never have I ever laughed so hard in my life.

He also likes to keep me educated, by attempting to explain all the current economical debacles, which I pretend to fully understand only so that he would leave me alone already.

He is four and a half years older than me, he is everything you'd want your older brother to be - extremely good looking, incredibly smart, picks me up on his motorcycle after a night out with friends and is insanely intimidating to any guy that may glance at me in a certain way.

He's the kind of guy that would come over in the middle of the night with a bottle of vanilla coke (yes, we're hardcore like that) and those crispy caramel rice cakes I absolutely adore, just because 'I sounded not as bubbly and hilarious as usual' when we spoke on the phone earlier.

As corny as it sounds, I'd do anything for him. Whenever I hear of sibling feuds, due to money and whatnot it just makes me sick to my stomach, and I feel the urge to throw a puppy at a giraffe, which isn't very pro-PETA, so please make it stop already.

My brother could literally walk out with my credit card any time - as long as he's willing to supply me with my daily portion of Caramel Macchiato that is.