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No Offense to Prince George, But the Media Reporting of His First Tour Is Boring Me to Tears

11/04/2014 16:45 BST | Updated 11/06/2014 10:59 BST

I have a benchmark for boredom.

It's the time myself and a few friends were stuck in mile-long traffic trying to escape the Isle of Wight, caked in three days-worth of filth after attending Bestival, and the only frequency we could get on the radio was a BBC station that went through the A to Z of percussion.

Excruciatingly slowly, each instrument was played and a monotone voice announced the description and historical origin.

But even that pales into comparison when considering the coverage of the Royals and their tour of the Antipodes.

Don't get me wrong - I actually like the Wills, Kate and George nucleus. I know some people have strong feelings about them, but I think they seem pretty normal all things considered, and even a non baby lover such as myself thinks George is a little cutie.

But come on, media. I know prime minister John Keys is getting his moneys-worth in coverage thanks to New Zealand footing the bill for their stay, but things are getting ridiculous.

Papers are doing two to three page spreads on George playing with other infants, and its starting to read like a Parliamentary sketch meets celebrity diary.

References are made to George's weight (apparently he's a chubster but aren't most babies?) and whether or not poor, slender Kate can support him on her hip. (One's a baby, the other's an adult = no brainer).

First, his creche group outing was described as a 'meeting' with the Evening Standard writing: "It was the first time he had undertaken a "public duty", of sorts."

Then, after an excruciating blow-by-blow of George playing with another child, the banality of observations also made me scream out loud on the tube: "George excitedly bobbed around, indicating that as well as mastering crawling, he isn't far off toddling either."

I asked my Kiwi mother-in-law Prudence whether it was driving people mad over there too and she said that although it was nice that there was a "reinforcement of history and the link to the Crown - placing a wreath at the War Memorial in Blenheim - a nod to the centenary of the commencement of WW I which is big here with Anzac Day coming up and the centenary celebration at Gallipoli on the horizon" that there is a fawning response.

"The worst part of the whole thing" she said "is the style of the media reporting - for example: 'Baby Prince George was out there playing with the rest of the babies - it was just awesome - he was just like any other regular baby.'"

Her sister Gaby added: "Media coverage appears rather extensive although to be honest it's as exciting as a cup of cold sick. What the woman is wearing, what the delightful duo are up to each day, who admires whom and tiresome witticisms about the baby."

The fact is that while Prince George won't be a 'normal' kid or adult, as a baby, there is no distinction in the world for him that this is his duty or that he's in line for the throne.

Reporting it as if it is groundbreaking stuff - when in George's world it's simply divided between play, sleep and eat - only makes our fascination and preoccupation with forcing an adult's perception and structure on a baby seem positively infantile.