David, David, David. Look, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think you might be a tiny bit out of touch with the plebs. I mean the electorate, sorry. But the thing is this: joining in on The Twitter to keep up with what the common people are thinking wasn't your best plan. Especially after this comment in 2009:
"I think that politicians do have to think about what we say, and the trouble with Twitter is, too many Tweets might make a twat."
I know, you thought you'd backtrack on that with a little quip (I promise there won't be "too many Tweets...") And I imagine you thought you'd maybe follow the usual suspects, like @stephenfry and @barackobama
and maybe @thetorygraph and then you'd pop up once in a while and tell the world what you were having for breakfast, and send us an instagram or two of your cat in amusing positions.
Except your cat doesn't think much of your plan:
And people (like fellow Huffington Post UK writer Sian S. Rathore) will ask awkward questions:
Because the trouble with Twitter is it's full of real, opinionated people. The ones you're shafting on a daily basis. And the #askdave hashtag on there is full of everything that's good about this country. not that you'll read it, of course. Which is a shame.