"My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same."
"Weird pregnancy craving of the day: Chinese food and mashed potatoes. At the same time."
"What next – King Herod with a Children in Need badge?"
"My kid told me he deserved more cheese and who am I to argue with that"
“If you’re not a total racist, please STOP doing this," activist Sunder Katwala tweeted.
"Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time."
"My 7yo is pretty condescending for somebody who still needs to be reminded to go to the bathroom."
Gifs of The Office's Michael Scott and Peep Show memes have, of course, been forthcoming.
"Sorry i was weird last night. it was to move the plot forward."
"Take your kids to the ocean so they can repeatedly ask to swim in the hotel pool."