Personally, I wouldn't want my twenties back for anything. Sure you don't have crows feet and your bottom sits naturally high without 60 squats each day, but your choices in men and lifestyle, probably won't get a look in as you embrace your thirties. When you hit the big 3-0 you instinctively know you need vegetables with your carbs, and potential boyfriends need manners as well as the holy grail of groins. Gone are the days of having cereal for dinner and thicko bad boy lovers for dessert who you'll do anything for because you think you can be 'the one' to change them - like that ever happens. If it did you for, email me.
You're a strong, independent worldly wise lady who's developed an immunity to bullshit over time; you know what you want from your life, your career, and who you will allow into your bed and heart. More importantly, you know exactly what you don't want from a relationship, because no one has time for that shit that you went through in your twenties.
I find I have a certain glow in my thirties that says, " behold wankers of the world, I've had you, I've lost you, and I don't want you back, ever." This ironically appears to be wildly appealing to younger men, unfortunately for them - there's more chance of me tipping the velvet than revisiting that era of my sex life.
So here is a list of just some of the things we think and desire differently from a Mr. as the years roll on, and the need for iron buns rolls off, enjoy.
Twenties: He must be SO hot and sexy that all my girlfriends can't, even, deal.
Thirties: He must be fit - as in looks after himself, and not crazy.
Twenties: We're too busy fucking to talk; we connect on a physical level.
Thirties: He has one, and a PHD, but doesn't brag.
Twenties: He just wants to live the dream and travel.
Thirties: He travelled the globe, now he's focusing on his business.
Twenties: Don't hate the player hate the game.
Thirties: He's humble, and understands the law of attraction.
Twenties: I can stay over at his and wear his t-shirt! It's LOVE.
Thirties: I'm so glad he has his own place - I love my bed.
Twenties: OMG he like did this thing, and then I said this, and then he was like, " I SO don't need this," So I was like FINE!
Thirties: I can't wait to watch Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch, cor.
Twenties: He's totally gifted creatively; he djs, plays guitar AND works as an extra, he's amazing.
Thirties: He has a career and won't expect me to pick up the tab - awesome.
Twenties: SO, MUCH, SEX
Thirties: SO, MUCH, IN COMMON.
Twenties: He loves my body, and how I look when I go down on him.
Thirties: He loves my body, and my mind; he loves going down on me.
Twenties: His dick is SO big.
Thirties: Thank GOD he trims, tick.
Twenties: He's getting the bus over to mine which means he won't be over until midnight, but I don't care if I look like shit tomorrow.
Thirties: He's driving over for 8pm and we're having an early one as I have a presentation for a new client in the morning, so thoughtful.
Twenties: IBIZA! PARTY!!!
Thirties: Well travelled and cultured, often pops to Europe for work.
Twenties: He knows all the good clubs and can get us guest list.
Thirties: He knows André Balazs, result.
Twenties: He's ex is a PYSCHO!
Thirties: His ex was super successful, they just grew apart.
Twenties: He lives with his mum, who still does his washing, so sweet.
Thirties: He loves his mum, and visits each week.
Twenties: Checking your phone every minute for an SMS or Facebook 'likes'.
Thirties: He calls me.