THE BLOG

Tinder Man

16/03/2017 16:58 GMT | Updated 16/03/2017 16:58 GMT

A wise man once said: 'Never tell anyone your problems; half don't want to hear them and the other half are glad you're got them.'

That same wise man should have also added... 'if you're ever lonely, heartbroken, vulnerable, never, ever go on Tinder.'

Have I ever succumbed to Tinder? Nope, do I know about Tinder? Yep.

Apparently it takes just half an hour to set up a Tinder account with a false name, photo and fake email address, which 44-year-old teaching assistant Anna Rowe found out to her detriment. She was looking for love in the virtual world rather than trawling bars and clubs to meet someone. She thought she had met a lovely man but he had duped her, setting up a fake profile to hide the fact that he was married. Ms Rowe is now demanding that posing as someone else is made illegal. Nonetheless, she made the decision to date in the virtual world, ignoring the dangers, but her demands for changes should be considered.

Tinder has turned dating into tawdry meat market, a drive thru McDonalds. Call me naïve, but I like to believe that dating should be like a three course meal and the dessert - when you eventually order it - should be the main event, so to speak. Swipe right, and a date is yours.

Whatever happened to eyes across a room, anticipation, flirting? However, therein lies the problem. We are losing the art of dating as apps are so superficial and Tinder attracts emotionally unavailable men. In an age of STDs, it is too accessible and dangerous.

One of the most disappointing dates I ever went on, was with someone who had the odour of Tinder man all over him. I actually met him while I was working at an event. I felt ready to start dating again and we exchanged a few texts and phone calls and agreed to meet up for a drink.

First impressions are always the best and when he eventually arrived he looked as excited at the prospect of a date with me as having his teeth pulled. I had made a real effort with my hair that normally resembles a frizz explosion and felt I looked nice. He just looked at me and mumbled about what we should do? I then realised he must have been quite drunk when we initially met as he actually had a bit of a personality which had seemingly evaporated faster than my credit limit. I persevered and tried to hold an interesting conversation but he was just vacant.

However, he did ask if he could see me again during the date and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and agreed. I assumed he had a case of first date nerves. He then asked me what I wanted to do. Admittedly this was not very rock 'n' roll but I felt like doing it. I told him I wanted to go for afternoon tea in pub in Soho. A change from the norm of a bar or cinema date.

"Nah, not doing that", Was his reply.

"Sorry", I replied

"Nah, who wants to do that?"

Me actually, I thought as I stared at his smug face. Now I always presumed that first dates are where you put the bunting out, roll out the red carpet, all that jazz, and then later, you can confess that was a terrible idea but you did it anyway as you wanted to make a good first impression. By the end of the first date, the prospect of having tea with Her Majesty would not have tempted me on a second date with him.

Tinder men have lost the art of dating as the eye is always on Tinder, where lots of other dates will be available to them. Apparently, there is a dating coach app that stops the urge of one going on Tinder. All you men out there, sign up pronto!