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Seven Things You Should Never Do Now We Are Probably Leaving the European Union

11/07/2016 13:06 | Updated 11 July 2016

So those who voted Leave are happy and those who told them to vote Leave have resigned themselves to running away. There is Bregret and marches and much of the London population at least, are hoping that we can still save things somehow, somewhere?! Can't we just ctrl alt delete and start over? We have never needed Dr Emmett Brown and his time travelling car as much as we need it now, Doc? "GREAT SCOTT" - yep they voted IN.

Nope, It looks like we are probably leaving the EU unless there is come sort of political miracle, so here are seven things you should never do in the currently political climate.

1. Be horrible to your German uncle

He's basically in charge of the EU now - well his country is as they put in the most money and money is power - well, other than the pound. He may have forgotten a few birthdays but he is more to you now than paper cards. Also be nice to your family generally, if you are not they might all take a vote and go it alone with out you.


2. Forget your heritage

You probably have connections to someone in Europe and that means a possible European passport! Quick, start googling your family tree - were you grandparents Irish? If you can get your hands on one of those coveted books then you'll be like the hokey kokey - in and out, it's the best of both so shake it all about.

3. Read a newspaper

Bad news spreads fast and at the moment it gets worse and worse. Avoid all news outlets of all kinds, basically lock yourself in your house and eat all of the European food which will soon become too expensive to buy whilst watching reality tv to take your mind off things - ohhh it's the Love Island final soon.

4. Cry

Don't break the seal - you will never stop.

5. Forget to check your travel bags

Think of all those Euros that are lying discarded at the bottom of musty suitcases and tiny holiday purses! You might never use your suitcase again but those cents are worth a lot now! Between reality tv binges have a brexit clean out and cash in now. Have you heard - those cash for gold companies are rebranding: 'Cash for Euros'.

6. Have a party

You'll regret all that spending when the recession hits! It's not really a time for celebration anyway, it's a time for furrowed brows, shopping coupons and 'experts' pretending they know what might or might not happen. What does the former Miss GB think and will they bring her back on Love Island?

7. Forget to be positive

It's not all doom and gloom team! At least we will have a female PM - think of all the excellent headlines the papers will come up with for that! "Here come the girls", "Female PM-T", "Girl Power: It's political spice".

Has anyone ever thought that if Germany called their 'Chancellor of Germany' their 'Prime Minister' instead, Angela Merkel would be AM and PM - young and enthusiastic Leave voter pipes up "is that because of the time difference?".

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