All images, unless stated, owned by Channel 4.
WARNING: This is jam-packed with The Great British Bake Off spoilers because, well, it's all about The Great British Bake Off.
Some quick observations :
1) I'm not the biggest Potter fan, but check out the artistic inspo from the Snape/ Harry's mum flashback:
Noel Fielding is like Snape's long lost indie-goth cousin.
2) I've always wondered what it would be like to take an acid tab with Sandi, and now I know how it would start.
3) Prue has admitted she doesn't like really sweet things. What the feck is she doing judging a baking contest?
Kooky Noel Bingo time: cross out those 'mistakes flora for furniture' squares.
It's caramel week!
Turns out caramel is a disgusting death syrup filled with fat, butter, sugar and cream. Great.
Butter for days.
Signature - millionaire shortbread - something we know, joy! Sainsbury's need to stock more cottage loaves.
I think we have a Brexiter in our midst. Sandi was not impressed with Julia 'tinkering' with this 'British classic'. Swapping shortbread for a pecan base?! Bloody foreigner.
Turned out Tom and James were attempting pecan shortbread too.
But that's alright is it Sandi?
Technical - stroopwafels a.k.a the mother of all colleague holiday treats
And for this we get adverts AND a history lesson? So not fair.
For the first time, not one baker got it right. C4 decided not to shout about that debut.
She claimed you have to be careful of working with caramel, she's 'already lost fingerprints'...
What kind of trail haven't you left behind ma'am?
Slayed her showstopper. Prue asked for the recipe and said it was potentially the best cake she's ever tasted. Ever.
And Mr Perfect was back. There was James with no sign of clean lines, Kate's was a hot melted mess, and then Steven popped out the most heavenly layers since The Rachel haircut.
As unlikeable as an all A* student is, I'm warming to him and his leg waxing jokes with Sandi, spun sugar hair range with Noel, and commenting on how sexual icing is. Yes. Yes it is.
His showstopper looked incredible:
Fear not young Liam, the cake was all style, and no substance.
There was strange, quite intrusive, editing when the camera slowly zoomed up on her watching sugar melt.
Someone needs to explain the importance of anonymity during the technical challenge. Her stroopwafels were not a pretty sight, clearly.
Love her simple explanations: caramel shortbread quantities are 3,2,1 and when you make caramel you're playing chicken. Where was she for my Biology A level? (Probs would've been weirder if she was there.)
She doesn't even use a thermometer when she's making caramel. That's as dangerous as sleeping with Wayne Rooney without a condom. Ba dum pum pssh. Cheers guys. #topical
Our hard nut showed her nougat side, getting quite emotional bless her.
His peanut butter millionaire shortbread spoke to 20 somethings. Peanut Butter Kit Kat x salted caramel. Finished with him saying 'nom nom'. Such a youth. It also spoke to Paul, landing Liam his first Hollywood handshake = a very happy Liam.
'Oh my days, Paul Hollywood shook my hand because I baked something really good?'
Yep, that's the crux of it.
This was The Week of Liam, unfazed by any of the rounds. 'It's waffles, innit.' Indeed it in.
His hippidy hoppidy happeningness continued with the on-trend spiced caramel drip (me neither).
'I chose bay leaves because of the Roman meaning behind it, it means wealth and status.' Mkay it was cute at first, now it's getting annoying. And anyway, I always thought status was all about the size of your statue's crotch and nose. Stick them in your cake and bake it.
I enjoyed the judges praising the bay leaf/ Beyonce. 'That aromatic taste is actually Bey', Prue commented.
He was the clear weak link throughout the episode, falling behind on each step of the technical and adding his chocolate when the caramel was in no way ready.
He then made the massive mistake of only using caramel in his caramel cake's bird's nest and praline. Plus, the cake was gluey and yucky anyway. What a mistake-a to bake-a.
He realised in hindsight he shouldn't have used a muffin recipe for a cake.
WELL YES TOM.
Added some nail biting drama to the week with half of her signature biscuits in their moulds, but they tasted great.
Kate is star baker!
And that's the closest Liam will ever get to stardom.
Tom is out!
Innuendo of the week (although, the innuendo isn't as fun now they're so aware of it as a thing)
- 'I'm looking for something a bit special. And I'd like something I've never had before' - Saucy Prue
- 'It's a handful for me' - Steven
- 'Sophie still has size issues' - Noel
- 'You've got some lips there' - Paul
- 'I know I can finish it, and I know I can do it well' - Tom
- 'A sticky handshake' - Noel
- 'It's not as much of an erection as I wanted it to be' - Stacey (surely the winner of all innuendos?)
Liam: They're kind of bendy, waffles aren't meant to be crisp
Yan: I'm just toasting them on both sides so they're nice and crisp. CRUNCH.
Best of Noel and Sandi
- Noel trying to get Yan to admit she's Banksy
- 'Stroop, is the dutch for syrup' 'And wafel... means waffle'
- Sandi helping Liam with the tongs
- 'Amster-damn that's gone quick' (let the records show my friends and I visited Amsterdam October 2015 and created the hashtag #Amsterdayum just sayin')
- 'Basically, my face is all I've got' - Noel
The ridiculous statement more fitting of a Scorsese film
- 'I'm not giving up. Never give up. Never surrender. *Tears*' - Yan
- 'But avoiding burnt sugar... is just the beginning'- Noel
I mean really. He can't have said that with a straight face in the sound booth.
Until next time..