Bankrupt, bored, or on the brink of being dead and buried. Life has never been better for the D-lister thanks to the return of Celebrity Big Brother.
Just when you thought 'what ever happened to that dude who looks a bit like George Foreman and got his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson?' CBB does the unthinkable - brings in boxing legend Evander Holyfield and handcuffs him to none-other than lusty Luisa Zuissman, the Apprentice runner-up who is more famous for her frolics these days than her killer business brain.
And don't get me started on Dappy, the tiny and talented N-Dubz rapper has had a string of bad luck including money woes, being kicked by a horse, and watching his cousin former X Factor judge Tulisa finish off the last of their band's reputation with her recent court drama.
So when the Dapster got the call for CBB it was like all his Christmases had come at once - until he was chained to any poptart's worst nightmare, Rihanna's nemesis - journo Liz Jones, and was promptly put up for eviction. He then began his comedy, if not a little desperate effort to get viewers to vote for him by bragging about the size of his 'tings,' dry humping the 'brunette dat looks like Megan Fox', and all in all creating brilliantly funny, albeit rather traumatising TV.
So why slog away at the A-list like Tom Cruise and Charlize Theron when you'll get more column inches on the D-list? Just look at how Kim Kardashian started from a sex tape to a reality show and is now giving many Hollywood stars a run for their money with her earning potential and popularity which is arguably surpassing theirs.
For many of CBB's contestants entering the show will open up more doors than when they were famous the first time around including endorsements, campaigns, another stab at the charts, a famous boyfriend perhaps and a pocketful of more wonga. For others hopefully it won't spell career suicide.
So thank you Channel 5 for helping us beat the January blues with CBB.
Just when the last of the Christmas movies had dried up on terrestrial TV, along comes this revamped format that has us gasping as to what will happen next, with new Davina, Emma Willis, doing an admirable job at the healm.
We salute you!
Beating the January Blues. Part 2
I used to be one of those people who laughed at my colleagues when they told me they were going dry for January.
A showbiz journalist, without an obligatory glass of vino in their hand to wash down a canapé or six during the quietest month of the year when all the good celebs are on holiday and you're hunting around for stories, you've got to be kidding me!
And now I am one if them. Eek. I've taken on the Brita Boost Challenge to stay hydrated and alcohol free to kick start the year.
Wish me luck. It starts with a mixology class learning to make non-alcoholic cocktails, and with award season upon us from February with the BAFTAS, BRITS,Oscars and Grammys, the detox couldn't have come at a better time to help me squeeze into my party frocks and get red carpet ready.
Finding ways to get a buzz during January is key to helping to beat the January blues.
One in ten commuters (9 per cent) say their morning journey is so stressful they even want to cry by the time they arrive at their desk, and eight working days per year are lost by commuters because their daily journey sees them arrive so tired, unhappy and left wanting to go straight back to bed by the time they get to work. A staggering 68 per cent insist they would be more productive if their trek to work was more enjoyable, says an Evian study encouraging commuters to 'Live young' this January.
For your chance to liven up your daily commute, hop along to join the evian Live young bounce at Potters fields park on Monday 13th Jan at 8.00am.
Keep your brain active by, gasp, computer games.
First person 'shoot em ups' are apparently good for improving the IQ - trying to play a game that is out of your usual choice. No wonder Call of Duty Ghosts is flying off the shelves and is a Premiership footballer's favourite game. Candycrush is another one keeping those fingers, and brain cells busy.
I'll be lucky enough to be getting a buzz partying with Robin Thicke as he jets into London to launch his limited edition Rémy Martin bottle, before he opens for Maroon 5 at London's O2 on Saturday night.
Although I'll just be on the ginger ales and sipping from my Brita Fill and Go instead of the classic R&G cocktail on the night.
Unless he brings Miley out for a saucy rendition of Blurred Lines.
Well, that's enough to make anyone fall off the wagon...
Suggested For You
SUBSCRIBE AND FOLLOW
Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements.Learn more