This time of year is always strangely exciting for me because every other year I am with my girls while the next they spend it with their fathers (yes, I have been married and divorced twice).
This year they will be away for the whole holidays. Am I ok with that? Gosh yes!
I love my girls very, very dearly but I also cherish my time alone. I do!
I mean, they will be away having a wonderful time with the other side of their family and we will speak everyday if need be - the beauty of Skype.
Before we go our separate ways though, we're going to have our own Christmas together - the 25th is only but a date on the calendar. Our own ritual is what matters most.
What about me? What am I going to do during the time that they are away? I have been asked this over and over again? Well, to be honest, I cannot wait.
I have plans for some of the days and some not really. I don't even know what I will be doing on the 25th itself as all my immediate family live in Kenya.
So I'll wait and see how I feel before deciding how to spend that day.
But for now, all I know is that for two whole weeks...(drum roll please):
1. I don't have to get up early and actually I don't have to get up at all, if I choose not to.
2. I can go to bed when I want knowing that I don't have to be up early next morning and entertain anyone
3. I can eat what I want, when I want - bin the broccoli if I want to and stop pretending, for my children's sake, that I love and enjoy those mini-trees
4. I can go anywhere I want, and for two weeks if I want to, without having to be back at a certain time
5. I can watch all the films I want, all day if I want to
6. I can see my friends everyday, aaalllll day if we choose to
7. I can work day and night if I want to without having to stop and go pick anyone from anywhere, feed them etc
And the list goes on and on all the while knowing that my girls are fine, that they are enjoying themselves thoroughly. All the while speaking with them everyday twice a day at least.
Of course I will miss them and them me (she says hopefully) but not enough to stop them from spending time with their other half of their family - after all next year is my time, our time.
So if this is your first Christmas without the children, the choice on how you spend it is up to you.
Do you realise that? Can you see that?
With the warmest of hugs