My New Year's Resolution is to stop wasting endless hours online and instead get out and start living! I was about to shut down my laptop and jump on the roller-coaster of life when an e-mail pinged into my 'In' box. The subject line read: 'Trina, we've really missed you!'
It's the type of message that lifts my heart. We all like to be missed and it's even better when we're let know so directly that our absence has not gone unnoticed, even if it is from an on-line clothes store promoting their new 2012 range. Sigh.
Of course my absence may only have been felt because it affected the store's bottom line. Shamefully, I really do spent that much on fashion, mostly on shoes, but no matter how much I love footwear I have to accept I've only one pair of feet. I can hardly house any more shoes let alone wear them.
Some of my precious finds have never even left the boxes in which they were purchased. I try them on now and again. Admire their workmanship, their design and form, but still I can't find an occasion special enough to give many of these beauties an outing. My red 'ruby' encrusted stilettos for example will probably never see the light of day unless I happen to stumble across a yellow brick road - unlikely; or in some cases there are 'balance issues' when I try to walk which is always a bit of a downer where shoes are concerned.
I knew this 'We really miss you!' e-mail was marketing spam. I knew I shouldn't open it, instead I should have simply hit 'delete' and stuck to my new years resolution, but with with such a pleasing subject line I thought what harm could it do to have a little peek.
One click later I found the shop had sent me a €20 gift voucher. How absolutely lovely. Some guilt free shopping. Why not. See, there are many benefits to be found in the online world. I just won't 'go' into the shoe department because there probably won't be anything for under €20. Instead I'll buy a little new season pick-me-up.
In all my €20 gift voucher got me a pair of elephant patterned socks and fake eyelashes so thick and lush that upon wearing them I would no doubt be mistaken for Cheryl Cole. Sure, who needs shoes, I thought to myself as I clicked through to the checkout and entered my voucher code, proud that my shopping addiction was finally paying dividend.
What happened next was like when a puppy comes running towards you and you're expecting him to lick your face but instead he tried to bite your behind. Just like this 'gift' from the clothes store, it turned out the voucher was only redeemable when I spend over €100.
Of course by now it was difficult to 'put back' what was in my basket but I guess that's the idea. The good thing about on-line shopping is if you change your mind at the till there's no shame. No red faces, unlike the 'real world'. So I clicked delete because I didn't need a pair of elephant patterned socks and in truth the likelihood of me ever getting mistaken for Cheryl Cole is nil, so the fake lashes can go too.
I'd only wasted a hour of my new life, not too bad I thought to myself, there's still time to salvage my new years resolution, that was until a Tweet about my shopping exploits turned into this article and now as I glance out the door there's a thunder shower pelting down and I'm not sure where I left the car keys... Maybe I'll start my new life tomorrow.