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When All Your Friends Are Getting Married And Having Babies, And You're Still Single AF

13/03/2017 12:59
AntonioGuillem via Getty Images

We go through our teens blissfully unaware of the changes that lay ahead. We seek comfort in the notion that our friendship groups will never change, and that someday, we'll be swept off our feet by the men (or women) of our dreams, all at the same time. We'll go through all of the same things, all at the same time.

Yeah... this doesn't happen. People's lives naturally progress at different rates; some of your friends will choose to get married and have children, whilst others will remain children themselves, stuck in a constant cycle of f*ckboy flings, day drinking and making terrible, wine-based decisions. But what happens when this is you?

You will begin to develop a fear of hand pictures
. Whether they're hand-in-hand with their partner, they have their hand on their partner's chest, or it's just simply a picture of their hand to show off the ring, single people hate hand pictures more than they hate being questioned about their love lives.

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You will form a personal vendetta against anyone who uses months to describe their child's age. "Bobby is 36 months old," "No, Bobby is three. He's f*cking THREE."

You will develop occasion-alcoholism. You've become well accustomed to the fact you'll probably be drunk at almost everything you're invited to; from teetering down the aisle with a bottle of champagne at a wedding, to downing mimosas under the table at a baby-shower.

You will start to fear going back home. With all of your friends starting to settle down, you will begin to worry that there will be an arranged marriage, or a turkey-curry buffet waiting for you on your next visit.

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You basically become a foster child. When your friends get married and have children, they basically need to accept the fact that they will also become parent-like figures to you and your other single friends.

But what if you no longer want to compete with a three month old baby? What if you've had enough of crashing other people's date nights? What if you've finally realised that three may in fact be a crowd?

Get new friends. Enlist the help of an app. The technology landscape is changing and apps are revolutionising the way that we connect with other people. Not only are there the tried and tested dating apps, Tinder for example, we've also seen the rise of the friendship app.

Social apps offer a BFF setting, which connects users based on mutual interests and the places they have in common.

Although the concept may seem a bit strange at first, because we're used to swiping right on the people we want to date - it's the perfect way to meet similar people with similar interests. Even if your main interests include pizza, Jamie Dornan and drinking a whole bottle of wine by yourself...


Try visiting new places
. The majority of us are creatures of habit, rarely stepping outside of our comfort zones or breaking away from our daily routines. Try making a list of places that you'd like to go to and make a point of visiting them on your days off. Even if you don't end up conversing with another human, learning to enjoy your own company can be strangely liberating.

Try new experiences. And I don't mean switching from Wine to Spirits. Group activities are a great way to meet new, likeminded people and the millennial age has brought us a wave of different activities, from Underwater Spinning to Bungee Dancing and Ariel Yoga.

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However wanky your chosen activity may be, a new experience is sure to get you out of your 'my friends have all selfishly chosen happiness' slump and you can be content in the knowledge that you don't have wear Eau De Baby Sick or sit up until 3am listening to the dulcet tones of a baby monitor.

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