Finding Your Zen: Life After Treatment

13/03/2017 15:34

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Image: Zuzana Brianza

I was warned this was coming.

Your treatment is over and you find yourself left in the wilderness. You try to stay sane while waiting for the results of your scan but scanxiety starts kicking in.

Inevitably, with anxiety comes irritation. My list of people I want to cage fight is growing and the list of things I don't find annoying is getting shorter.

I must have a solid plan to keep my spirits up and this plan must include some kind of physical activity.

Running is not my thing, school runs is the only running I do. Gyms do not appeal to me either. I dusted the old water rower but found I can't get any enjoyment rowing in my living room surrounded by piles of laundry and lego blocks.

After some research it becomes clear to me that yoga is the way to go. It boosts both your physical and mental wellbeing. Bingo!

I am not new to yoga, I did a fair amount of downward facing dogs in my life, but I do feel a bit lost in the yoga world. There are so many styles and places you can do yoga these days. Even my three year old does yoga at preschool.The sensible thing is probably to go back to basics and start slowly. Less work and more relaxation is really what I'm after. Aren't we all?

So today I joined the club of mums who show up at school in their yoga pants. I often think if they really go to the gym or just want to show off how quickly they bounced back to their prenatal figure. There are of course mums who, like me, find in the mad rush of the morning that yoga pants are the only clean garment left in the closet.

Proud and full of determination I dropped off my kids in a pair of stretchy pants and grabbed a takeaway coffee while waiting for Uber to take me to the other side of Thames.

I quickly realised that showing up to a class with a large takeaway coffee is not going to make me many yogi friends. My flexibility is as poor as my balance and my stretchy pants look very uncool in this part of London.

Luckily this is a meditative yoga where you get to lie down while concentrating on breathing. Concentrating seems to be an issue but with some effort I'm entering a feeling of zen. I can see why yoga is the perfect exercise for me and it's not only because I get to lie down in the middle of the day. It gives you strength, flexibility and focus and thats exactly what I need.

Unfortunately the feeling of focus and peace lasted only until I got back on the tube home.
I'm not giving up though. I decided to do yoga in the comfort of my home where nobody can judge my pants nor choice of beverage. In fact I already hired a yoga instructor who will design a personalised sequence to regain my strength and keep me sane.

The ultimate sanity test might be coming sooner that I thought. Somehow I ended up as a supervising parent on the upcoming school trip.

Deep breaths...

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