No? Thought not. Good. Glad we've got that sorted out.
But just in case you ever did, toy designer Alex Green has created a kit for that very purpose.
Yes, you can, should you so wish, transform your placenta into a teddy bear.
The blog Inhabitots describes the bizarre creation as "A crafty alternative for those who don't necessarily want to eat their baby's placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear."
Excellent. I'd say that was a limited market, but hey.
Apparently the "Twin Teddy Kit" has been designed to celebrate the "unity of the infant, the mother and the placenta".
Okay. Now for the really disgusting science bit.
According to Inhabitots "the placenta must be cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable."
Yeucchh. I'm sorry, I know birth is a wonderful thing and all that, but this is just gross. Isn't it?
I didn't even particularly want to look at my placenta after giving birth, let alone start pratting about turning it into a teddy bear.
And can you imagine what the midwives would say if you asked, while cradling your newborn "Scuse me, can you hang on to the placenta for me because I want to turn it into a teddy bear?"
They'd probably have you whisked away to check for post-natal psychosis.
Besides, who's got the time to start curing and treating their placenta when they've just given birth?
So come on. Does this actually appeal to anyone out there? If so, why?