Sports Day: the two words guaranteed to divide the general populace by either striking fear into their hearts or fill souls with competitive spirit and dreams of gold.

But for the former - who weren't born natural Olympians - there are ways of being able to hold your head up high without putting in months of gruelling training, protein shake dieting or devising cunning tactics and holding team talks.

So, for your convenience, we have collated a few ideas of how to save face without pulling a muscle.

And remember: it's the (ahem) taking part which counts....

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  • The Egg And Spoon Race

    Stick your egg to your spoon. A variety of adhesives can be used here: glue, blu-tack, chewing gum...

  • The Relay Race

    Grease the other team's relay baton with oil or butter

  • Sports Day - General Tips

    Attempt to trip your opponent up at all times

  • Sports Day - General Tips

    Superglue the soles of your opponent's shoes so they stick to the ground and can't move

  • Tug Of War

    Weigh your pockets down with stones so you weigh more, or just eat A LOT before the competition

  • The Sack Race

    Gluing your feet to the corners of the sack and running

  • Sports Day - General Tips

    Feed your opponent lots of Tic Tacs/Polos/mints so they have to keep running off to the toilet

  • Sports Day - The Prize

    Tell your fellow competitors first prize is a kiss from the elderly head teacher. Who may have a hint of moustache about her lips..