tragic amusing defeat at the polls on Tuesday night, Mitt Romney had publically stated that he would not re-run for office were he to lose to Obama.
Barack, it seems, has ended Mitt's long but ultimately unfulfilled political career, leaving the former governor nothing more than to sit in his magic underpants counting his Cayman Island retirement fund while watching his wife’s dancing horse.
However, Romney devotees should not despair. Straight after Mitt conceded the election early on Wednesday morning, a cardboard cut-out of the Republican candidate announced its intention to contest the 2016 election, vowing to learn from Willard’s mistakes and bring a more rounded, three-dimensional personality to the presidential race.
Donald Trump has already stated he would vote for the “tough-on-China” cardboard candidate as long as he could personally review its college transcripts, while Sarah Palin tweeted her backing for "America's cardboard patriot", stating: "Cut-out Mitt is the right man to take or country back".