Cutlass, check. Wooden leg, check. Parrot, check. With any luck you’ll have remembered it’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day and you'll be dressed in your finest swashbuckling attire.
This raucously fun yearly event sees landlubbers across the globe down tools, dress like extras from Treasure Island and yell indecipherable salty sea dog phrases in each other's faces.
It’s not enough to look the part though, you’ll have to brush up on high seas jargon too… which is where we step in with these handy tips and phrases:
While the basics - Ahoy! Avast! Aye!, Aye aye! and Arrr! - are pretty easy to master, the founders of International Talk Like A Pirate Day have compiled a handy "how to" guide (with French, Dutch and German translations).
Dead men tell no tales - phrase indicating to leave no survivors
Grog - An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren't prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won't stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor's water ration - to kill the rancid taste.
Keelhaul - punishment in which a person where dragged underneath the pirate ship from side to side and was lacerated by the barnacles on the vessel
Feed the fish - will soon die
Batten down the hatches - put everything away on the ship and tie everything down because a storm is brewing
Hornswaggle - to defraud or cheat out of money or belongings
Landlubber - big, slow clumsy person who doesn't know how to sail
Poop deck - the part of the ship farthest to the back, which is usually above the captain's quarters. This is not the bathroom
Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! - pull up the anchor and the sail and let's get going
Scurvy dog - the pirate is talking directly to you with mild insult
Bilge rat - a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship (lowest levels). Pirates, just like their modern-day counterparts (regular guys), love to joke and jibe with their buddies. By all means, pirates will call their buddies "bilge rats.
Black spot - to be 'placin' the black spot' be markin' someone for death.
Davy Jones' Locker - the bottom o' the sea, where the souls of dead men lie.
Just remember to always observe these simple rules:
Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say "never", they say "No nay ne'er!"
Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".
Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!
HuffPost UK is proud to enjoy a special friendship with Capn’ Slappy, who exclusively sheds light on why he is steering this day into its 11th year.
He explains: “Part of my passion for this particularly silly event is my long-held belief that the world needs a healthy dose of ‘silly’ in generous portions from time to time.
“This is just how Ol' Chumbucket and meself make that contribution on an annual basis. It's hard to harbour hatred for your fellow human beings whilst bellowing, ‘YARRR! Great Neptune's Salty Man-Nipples!
"I'll be hornswoggled for a Dutchman's potty!’ (And as a pirate, you get to make up interesting albeit nonsensical phrases like, ‘Dutchman's potty’ or ‘Great Neptune's Salty Man-Nipples!’ and as long as you growl it at the top o' yer voice, everyone just knows you're talkin' ‘pirate')."
Scroll down for a gallery of pirate chat-up lines
Though the event is globally successful, US-based Capn’ Slappy informs us the city with the most visitors to his official Facebook page is… London.
And while Johnny Depp and Errol Flynn fly the skull and crossbones flag for the United States, the ever-humble Slappy is also mindful of the British influence, nay, essence of the event.
Referring of course to Robert Newton’s rolling-eyed portrayal of Long John Silver in the Walt Disney version of Treasure Island, our favourite buccaneer adds: “It was Newton’s thick Cornish accent that became the iconic voice of ‘Pirate Talk’.
“Like so many gifts to the world, this one comes courtesy of an accidental Anglo-American collaboration.”
Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
Prepare to be boarded!
Well blow me down?
Ya know, darlin', I'm 97 percent chum free.
How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you
Come on up and see me urchins
Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?