Businesses should employ philosophers to help them deal with "fluffy" corporate language, author and philosopher Alain de Botton said.
De Botton said: "Philosophers should be employed by companies, philosophers are brilliant at elucidating words.. like community.
"What are these words? They're all fluffy! Get a philosophy to have a look, get them out there and helping society."
The Swiss philosopher made his suggestion at the launch of the recruiter Randstad's "How I Became" initiative.
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In a wide-ranging talk, De Botton criticised the state of philosophy in Britain as "miniscule and pedantic".
"There must be about 100 philosophers in Britain today and the reason is that it's the philosophers' fault," he said,.
De Botton said he received a petition from a "struggling philosophy department" at the University of Warwick, which he refused to sign. "I said, I'm sorry guys, you've brought it upon yourselves."
The writer also attacked education secretary Michael Gove for being "unimaginative about what a good education [in Britain] might be".
"We've been traumatised by the hippies so it seems like any time that education was going to get imaginative that you were going to end up with dreamers and slackers, and that has led to a view that the only way to have a good education system is to have Victorian discipline."
He suggested that the syllabus should be reformed to focus on more practical lessons that would teach students "how to handle life".
Energy recruiters Spencer Ogden have a glitzy way to spice up their work, offering top staff a chance to swan off to their beach office in Ibiza. If staff meet targets for three months in a row they are sent to 'work' on the beach office there. They also have a roulette wheel which is spun to hand out extra bonuses. How do they win? Simply by making deals, as staff get a number on the wheel every time they make a deal.
A surprising amount of businesses offer massages for stressed out employees. Digital marketing agency TopLine Communications, Thomson Online Benefits and Battenhall Communications are all offering massages. Drew Benvie, Battenhall chief, admits that the company's 'massage allowance' appears to have had 'no pickup' yet... perhaps they're being shy?
Oh yes. Staff at typing app startup SwiftKey have a rolling programme of lunchtime talks, with previous guests including Stephen Fry (who spoke about innovation). Not bad when the firm is still a fledgling start-up...!
Kayaks and a barge
This maritime generosity isn't for staff working at a local port, but a tech firm called Postcode Anywhere, based in Worcester. Its CEO Guy Mucklow bought his staff a company barge boat, which they can book out whenever they like and a range of kayaks, for use during lunch breaks.
Staff at games firm Neon Play, based in Cirencester, offer new recruits their own shopping spree when they join. With £100 to burn, staff are able to spend on gifts for the workplace. Previous examples have included ping pong tables and paintings. Online firms firm Mind Candy, the ones behind Moshi Monsters, also offer a host of events - including art club, photography club and life drawing - for the artistic employees.
Brighton-based digital agency Propellernet have a scheme that is rather sweet, a lottery-style "Dreamball" machine. Each staff member gets asked to name their ultimate dream, which ranged from swimming with dolphins, seeing the Northern Lights, and touring American music festivals. Each dream was written onto a "dream ball" and placed in an old dispenser. Assuming the firm hits targets, the company gives the dreamball machine a spin and allows a staff member to make one of their dreams come true.
Sheffield based software firm WANdisco has unlimited holiday allowance and a funky office. Office perks include a twice weekly fruit delivery, a pool table, table tennis and a Helter Skelter (pictured).
A Canine Colleague
<a href="http://www.eway.com.au/company/staff-and-culture" target="_blank">Staff at ecommerce firm eWay </a>have mastered the art of making work fun, having brought on talent from outside the human spieces. Harper Beagle works as their "Anti-Stress & Distraction Manager" eWay says: "With a diverse portfolio of digging, barking and tail-wagging, Harper Beagle also undertakes regular olfactory inspections of the eWAY Head Office."
Giant Swings And Golf
Southampton based web hosting firm PEER 1 have a fantastic range of office perks, including a slide, an office pub and giant swings (pictured with office putting green). Peer 1 is also based on a pier, in an excellent choice of punning logistics. It's almost worth quitting your job now to go join them, as you get a £2,000 bonus if you leave within two weeks.
Office Rock Festival
This would either be the coolest or most awkward office perk you'll have heard of - a rock festival by staff for staff. In this case, brand consultancy the Octopus Group host a summer festival called 'Rocktostock'. They leave work on a Thursday lunchtime to travel to our designated field. From there, staff get a host roast and the CEO doling out ice creams from an ice-cream truck. Finally, the house band (made up of staff) play for their colleagues' entertainment.
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