British Gas are putting their prices up by 9.2%. Do you:
All three options were on the table this week... as long as you hadn't burned that table to heat your house.
On the other side of the globe, meanwhile, the George and Boris show hit China - and the American shutdown came to an end, as thousands of federal workers realised they only wanted to go back to work if they got healthcare. Or something.
All this plus England Vs Poland, Roy Hodgson's joke, the announcement of the Booker Prize, Morrissey releasing his autobiography, Paul McCartney performing in Covent Garden, and badgers. And Katie Hopkins. Oh yes, all the greats are in this week's round-up. Take it away, funny people of Twitter...