Congratulations, it’s a … lizard.
Well that’s what the Indonesian press are reporting emerged from the womb of an expectant mother late last month.
Debi Nubatois is claimed to have gone into labour during her eighth month of pregnancy at her home in Kupang, with the assistance of midwife Josephine Lydia Hellen Wadu.
The product of an eight-month pregnancy, apparently
Wadu informed Indonesian news site Kompas that rather than the anticipated baby, a lizard coated in mucus and blood slithered out of the birth canal instead.
Rocket News quotes Chief Medical Officer Messe Ataupa as holding a press conference the day after, in which he told reporters: “Basically there’s something not right here.
"We are looking into whether this was intentional or not. Clearly the womb must have been empty and this is what’s known as pseudocyesis.
Weighing the (apparently dead) newborn
“So the gecko coming out is probably some kind of hoax. Childbirth of another species has never been reported in science.”
Pseudocyesis, by the way, is also known as false or phantom pregnancy. It’s a rare phenomenon where a woman experiences all the symptoms of pregnancy, without an actual foetus.
Since news of the reptilian birth began to spread, Nubatois and her family have been accused of witchcraft, though allegations of overactive imaginations could be closer to the mark.
Bizarre news footage of the lizard being ceremoniously weighed in what appears to be a hospital is also doing the rounds.
This ain’t the first time an interspecies birth has been reported.
One woman in Ghana was said to have followed the prediction of a witch doctor to the letter by also giving birth to a lizard.
A somewhat dubious source who claimed to have witnessed the live birth told Ghana Web: “The woman had a tough time expelling the lizard from her womb. Instead of passing through her birth canal, the reptile decided otherwise.
“But thanks to… the native doctor who doubled as her birth attendance, the reptile would have emerged through her anus.”
This particular tale just gets better – the new mother had apparently given birth to three frogs and two crabs two weeks previously and was tended to during her labour by “trained dwarf assistants”.
Sadly, once the lizard had been delivered, it was promptly bashed with a blunt object and killed.
Half-sheep, half-human, 100% b*llshit
And let's not forget that one time, in Sokoto Nigeria, when a sheep gave birth to a half-sheep half-human mutant.
Accusations of bestiality and witchcraft were thrown into the mix and the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps were sent in to disperse a furious crowd who demanded the owner of the sheep identified himself.
Dr Ismail Usman, who helped deliver the lamb, described the uproar as "embarrassing" and explained the animal's curious appearance as being down to a problematic pregnancy.