COMEDY

Liberal Britons Deciding Whether To Flee To Scotland Or Brighton After General Election Results

08/05/2015 12:37 BST | Updated 08/05/2015 12:59 BST

Thousands of left-wing Britons are queuing to enter Scotland and Brighton today following the Conservative victory in the General Election.

Liberal-minded voters and people on zero-hours contracts are expected to request refugee status in Green-held Brighton Pavilion or the SNP territories in Scotland to gain access to the UK's last remaining public libraries.

The country's economy is also expected to take a hit today as thousands of people ask for compassionate leave from work while they decide between moving to the Highlands or the seaside.

caroline lucas

Caroline Lucas is expected to use Brighton Pier for makeshift housing when an estimated 65,000 left-wing refugees flood her constituency

As traffic lines the streets leading to the Scottish border for miles, one Green Party voter from the constituency of Holborn and St. Pancras is urging other like-minded people to weather the storm and stick to their guns to stop Ukip winning an absolute majority at the next general election.

"We need to stay the course," Green voter Barry Surname said. "Ukip came second in 118 constituencies. If we head to Scotland, they could take all of England."

"Good riddance to the left wing loonies," a Ukip source told HuffPost UK Comedy. "Send them all to Brussels with the rest."

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