Parents Frustrated By Claims Kissing Your Kids On The Lips Is 'Too Sexual'

20/08/2015 12:19 BST | Updated 20/08/2015 12:59 BST

An article with the headline Experts Say Kissing Your Kids On The Lips Is "Too Sexual" has sparked widespread discussion among parents.

The feature on website Your Tango made reference to comments made previously by Dr. Charlotte Reznick who believes kissing children on the lips "can be stimulating".

Reznick, author of The Power Of Your Child's Imagination who said: "The kiss on the lips can be stimulating. It's just too confusing.

"If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when a little girl or boy kisses their parents on the mouth?

"If I had to answer when to stop kissing your kids on the lips, it would be now."

parents kiss children

Many mums and dads felt strongly about the claim that kissing on the lips could be confusing .

Joeli Brearley from Pregnant Then Screwed told HuffPost UK Parents: "I kiss my little boy on the lips, he is 22 months old. I think offering my cheek to him would feel more odd.

"The way you interact with your child adapts and changes as they get older and they set the tone as much as you do. It is unlikely I will kiss and cuddle him in the same way when he is 22, I doubt he will let me."

Brearley said she believes being affectionate with your child builds self confidence and communication skills and reduces potential behavioural problems.

She added: "Surely we want to encourage affection, rather than making parents feel paranoid about something else?

"I am very affectionate because my mother was affectionate with me, but she also taught me that there is a line you don’t cross and what sort of touching is incorrect."

The Your Tango article also quoted Dr. Psych Mum, Samantha Rodman who said: "I bet that having a positive physical experience with a parent actually sets a child up to be comfortable giving and receiving physical affection, and is stored as a positive subconscious feeling about physical love in relationships."

We reached out to the HuffPost UK parenting community on Facebook to gauge their reaction and many were angry by the claims made by experts.

Out of the initial 70 comments, not one parent agreed with the claim that kissing their kids on the lips could be considered sexual.

Many responded with frustration writing: "That is utter nonsense", "Good god whatever next" and "Sexual? That's ridiculous".

Hannah said: "Bull sh*t, my kids want to peck on the lips, it's a sign of affection. I'm more concerned with the expert who instantly sees that as sexual."

Danielle agreed and said: "It's only adults who deem this sexual. Kids have no knowledge of anything sexual, or at least they shouldn't. If my kids want a kiss on their lips then I bloody will do so."

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Rachelle said: "My little boy only knows that kissing is on the lips or an 'ouch'. When we say give kisses when we have to leave somewhere, he purses his lips and gives everyone a kiss on the lips.

"He will even just come up to us on the sofa and kiss us randomly on the lips. It's a sign of affection. My god what is the world coming to thinking a sign of affection towards or from your child is sexual?"

Gemma made the point that parents will know their children and what is acceptable.

She said: "Experts can kiss my ass. I know my child best. She kisses me on the lips and is a very affectionate and tactile wee thing.

"I am still teaching her it's her body and she doesn't have to kiss or even hug anyone she doesn't want to and she is more than capable of saying no if she's not happy."

What about older children kissing their parents?

Sarah, who has two daughters aged seven and nine, wrote: "I kiss my daughters on the lips, each child will decide when they don't want pecks on the lips and I will respect that. Until then there's nothing wrong with it."

Danielle said: "I still kiss my mum, dad, nan and grandma on the lips and I'm 34. I kiss my daughter on the lips, my eldest son who is 16 kisses me on the lips.

"My other two sons aged 13 and 15 are at the stage of cheek and hug only but that's their age saying go away mum.

"It's personal preference but stupid to say it's sexualised."

Tracey agreed: "I still kiss my mum on the lips I'm 33 and not attracted to her because she's my mum. Ridiculous."

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