Dry January is here, bringing with it all of the people who want to see your teetotal ways crumble to a pile of dust.
If youβve already been asked βwhy arenβt you drinking?β more times than you can shake a stick at, listen up. Here are a selection of hypothetical responses to the boozy bunch who want nothing more than to knock you off the bandwagon.
1. Insult Them
βWhy are you such a d*ck?β
2. Get Cocky
βIβm so damn fun I donβt need alcohol.β
3. Give Them A Genuine Reason
βI always told myself it would be easy, so Iβm seeing if I can actually do it.β
4. Make Them Feel Silly For Asking
βWhatβs it to you?β
5. Change The Subject
βI bought some new utensils.β
6. Make Them Pity You
βIβm poor. I spend too much money on alcohol.β
7. Make Them Wish Theyβd Never Asked
βDid you know that alcoholism shortens your lifespan by nearly a decade?β
8. Bring It Back To Them
βWhy are you drinking?β
9. Leave
βBoy, bye.β