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Sex, Boobs and Spirituality... A Rant

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A hundred years ago women were covered up, we were supposed to be pious, shy and quiet. When we demanded rights and freedoms, the freedom that an all male establishment gave us was the freedom of our sexuality. How very convenient for them! Hence birth control, legal abortion, free love, safe sex and the influx of pornography, sex trafficking, sexualization of children, teenage pregnancy and grown up women dressing like bunnies and kinky cowgirls. Everything women are encouraged to do, is touched by sexuality. We have total freedom to wear low cut tops, mini-skirts and to post semi nude photos of ourselves on the Internet. I plead guilty to many of these your honor.

Yes, our freedoms have moved into other areas too, our careers and life choices have expanded significantly. Yet at every twist of the road there are billboards flashing women's butts and boobs and impossibly long and smooth legs. Women are defined by their age and their hair color, whilst men are just that...men. It is still hard for a woman to compete in male dominated offices, but if she wants to express her femininity sexually, then heck, that is the easiest thing in the world. Allow me to repeat myself... how very convenient.

The facts are there. Women have not achieved full equality because we are still objectified beyond belief. The rise of the Internet and the huge, gigantic market for pornography has left us more exposed than ever as the sex objects society likes us to be. Just look at page 3 of the Sun... a daily family newspaper that completely normalises young women as naked, boobied creatures to be enjoyed by whomever.

Sadly the result of this mass objectification is leading more and more women to forget those latter qualities. We honestly believe we are insignificant and unworthy unless we have the bodies of the foxy, flesh baring starlets. Take a look at your female friends' pictures on Facebook and see how many sultry pouts you can count. I am guilty as charged when it comes to that, I have the pout, head tilt and come to bed eyes perfected. But I cringe a little bit inside when I see those pictures. Yes I think I look good, yes I look glossy, tanned, blonde and smiley. I hate it, but I buy into it. It is too easy.

I know how this story goes only too well. I have done it. I have bared my breasts for a photographer in the belief it made me special. And whilst there is not a thing wrong with beauty, indeed for some lucky ladies beauty cannot be helped, there is something seriously wrong with valuing beauty above all other qualities.

I have been "complimented" in the past because apparently I looked like a porn star. I have been told I am pretty enough to work in a bar - which is just a weird compliment on so many levels. More shockingly I cannot count the times a man, and indeed a woman has confessed to me that they were surprised when they realized I had a personality, lord forbid that I may even have a brain tucked under my blonde head of hair.

I have shocked a few people by being friendly too. Apparently as a blonde I should have been icy. I should act like an extra from some American high school drama, I should be a stereotypical bitch that gossips and snipes and plots against all the other girls. Officially speaking it is only a matter of time until I steal your boyfriend. As far as the stereotype goes, I have nothing better to do with my time. We women cannot win. We are not people; we are characters from Playboy's literature section. Damn.

We live in a beauty obsessed and overwhelmed society. We cannot be brainy and beautiful and we can't be brainy and loveable. So we are all constantly at odds with what we are, what we should be and which part of ourselves we should expose to get favorable reactions from everybody else. It is not real; it is a sad state of affairs. It makes us all very self-centered.
Into this mêlée and search for physical perfection how do we fit a little bit of spiritual inclination? Many of us do not. There is no time for spirituality when our hair needs straightening, outfits need to be thought about and the fat on your belly is undergoing severe gym attacks. But there should be. We need to stop following the advertising billboards and start following our hearts. Until we look beyond the end of our nose or our breasts (depending on which sticks out further) we will continue on this slavish path to objectification.

I am a proud feminist, I am a spiritual feminist, and I am a hippy feminist. I just want to see the world become a better place, I want to hug a tree and a man and I do not want to have to burn my bra because a decent bra is my Goddess given right - for the sake of comfort, ladies! I want women not to be obsessed with how they look to the point that they are dumbing their minds and selling their own souls, when they could be exploring their own intelligence and personality.

It is high time we stopped exploring the flesh and buying into these media driven myths of what makes us valuable. It is time we move beyond this lustful, animal approach to our existence started beautifying our souls. We must spiritualize our attitude towards our own selves and know that beneath whatever exterior we have been given, something more powerful and more beautiful than we could even imagine exists. Hopefully in doing this, society will follow. It is this inner beauty and self knowing, and this alone, that will take us far in this lifetime.

An Excerpt From: The High Heeled Guide to Spiritual Living

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