The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Alice Grist Headshot

How to Soulfully Handle a Valentine's Heartache

Posted: Updated:

Relationships are a minefield. For those suffering a broken heart, Valentine's Day may strike your heart cold with fear. Yet within this minefield there is massive room for learning. Heartache goes hand in hand with the evolution of you as a soulfully enlightened and aware being. Whilst rejection or love-life confusion may sting like hell, particularly around the dreaded 14 Feb, in the long term it can be very good for you. Trust me all you bleeding hearts, I do have a point, read on...

I feel your pain, honestly I do. How can rejection by the love of your life ever be meaningful? How can that passing fling have been so 'passing' instead of the permanent love nest you hoped it would become? Why did that gorgeous cad sweet talk you into bed with magnificent promises only to go cold the following morning? Whilst I cannot answer on behalf of these errant ex-partners, I can assure you that the answer does not lie with them.

I have been known to rant and rave into the ear of a willing girlfriend, for months, or years, about some poor chap who had the gall to reject me, not return a phone call or blatantly dump me. In true female form I would of course blame myself, then him, then myself again. He would be wickedly cruel and I was the innocent love fool. What I did not recognise was that the partner does not hold the answers. Not the answers I really needed anyway.

Lifetime lessons come through people, all people, even the really nasty ones. Just because a love affair was 'not meant to be' does not mean it was not meant to be whilst it lasted. We attract people to us to help us to grow and learn. So if a relationship did not work out how you expected it to, instead of wondering what the other person is thinking, try to think what it means for you. Think about yourself and what you can garner from the remnants of that love. Consider what you have learned about you, about your behaviour, about ways of being that you might want to avoid in the future. Consider the good and the bad and be sure to take this on-board for your future love growth.

I believe that some of our dramatic relationship disasters are stepping stones to a happier life. They are fantastic ways to promote your growth and if you deal with them consciously, they can alter your future life path towards a happier outcome.

Heartbreak at any age does not mean a lifetime of unfulfilled singledom. I believe that the more we feel during a lifetime, and the better we react to our own emotions the more progressed as people and as souls we become. So whilst your broken heart may make little sense right now, it is likely that you can become stronger and more knowledgeable from this horrid heartache scenario.

Relationships and their nuclear fallouts are an opening into a better understanding of yourself and other people. For the next week why not try to view all human beings as messengers, whatever clothing and guise they come to us in, be it saint or sinner. All people, without exception, carry important mini educations for us. Yes it is difficult to comprehend those lessons when all you can think is how much you miss snuggling into a certain person's neck. I get that but facts are facts, if a door has closed, don't stand staring at it for the rest of your life; think about why it closed, what have you learned about yourself and about relationships? What about this situation can make you a better human being and a more successful, well-rounded soul?

To help you move on towards a more helpful inner view I recommend that you mentally project unconditional love to the person who hurt you and then walk away, physically, emotionally and mentally. A break up should not mean the end of loving their soul, even if you never want to see them again. Do yourself a favour and send a little loving sugar over the energy vibrations. Forgiveness will do no harm. After that you should project a little sugar onto yourself. Work at getting happy again and finding a way to assimilate this loss into your lifelong learning.

Human life was never supposed to be easy, we are here to irk it out, one day fabulously happy, the next chaos and drama reigns. Accept this and know that love life drama truly can lead to massive personal expansion. Choose to believe that love (fulfilled or unrequited) is a rip-roaring, soul-wrenching occurrence and if handled correctly it can fast track and deepen your progression and wisdom.

Around the Web

Top 100 Heartbreak Songs, Heartache Songs, Breakup Songs ...

Ask Anna: How To Survive Valentine's Day! - YouTube

Holiday Heartbreak: Surviving Valentine's Day Without the One You ...

Urban Dictionary: Valentine's Day Break-up