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When Daddy Gets Frightened By a Singing Bear During a Nap

17/03/2016 13:12 GMT | Updated 16/03/2017 09:12 GMT

The first time it happens is memorable. You put baby down for a nap. You are knackered also. You see this as a great opportunity to take your own nap. You turn the tele off and make yourself comfortable on the sofa. The living room is littered with various toys and general baby clutter. Some of the battery operated toys are turned off, but some are not. Some are waiting patiently to scare daddy. They are playing dead. They are currently loving life, silently giggling and awaiting for the perfect moment to scare the living daylights out of daddy.

W*nkers.

You slowly drift off in to a decent level of sleep; baby is out for the count; the place is silent -- an abandoned ghost town of pure peace and quiet, when suddenly, out of nowhere a toy miraculously comes to life without warning. You jump out of your skin and sit bolt upright. You almost have a heart attack. Your senses are heightened, someone or something is singing. You listen a little harder to the mysterious voice: "How-are-you-I'm-a-sleepy-hungry-happy-bear-hey-come-and-hug-me".

You are dazed. You are still half asleep but are a little unsure about the situation. Did I just hear something? Is someone home? Is baby waking up? Is it a ghost or poltergeist playing havoc with me? No, mate. A bear just started singing a song for you.

Ridiculous.

You are shaking a little because somewhere within your mind you think it is genuinely a ghost.

You begin to calm down a little but can't rest until you can confirm to your brain that it was just a toy and not an evil spirit from an unknown dimension.

You immediately begin your investigation. You look around the room and realise it could have been any toy from a possible 20. As you wade your way through the mess to investigate the incident, a singing ted ensures you almost sh*t yourself again by saying, "I love you", and blows a kiss. You swiftly turn around and find the culprit - a tiny harmless looking V-tech ted with buttons and an annoying smile. You press the buttons to make sure that the initial song came from this ted.

It did.

The end.

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Photo: B*stard.

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