THE BLOG

Values - Die Inside and Out or Develop Your Love and Business

26/09/2014 15:44 BST | Updated 26/11/2014 10:59 GMT

Ask yourself: Do you want lead a life that makes you die inside and out? Or do you want to grow and develop your love of life and a business that's full of joy?

Like Sir Richard Branson mentioned, 'I don't think of work as work and play as play. It's all living'.

So how exactly do we define values?

Human values were first established when we were hunter-gatherers and lived in tribes. Values are an essential aspect of an effective society, so over time, we developed individual, cultural, ethical and social values. Nowadays, some countries also have values like control as a way of ensuring security, or they offer huge programs to enable learning. Others provide good food as one of the basics of a decent life.

We create our values subconsciously on a daily basis. Mostly, we have judgemental thoughts, including our thoughts about our values. We're constantly saying: This is good, this is not good. He should not say this, she should not have done this. Fortunately, once we become aware of our thoughts, we can focus our energy on a positive outcome, allowing us to create the life we want.

To build a functioning relationship, whether in business or in private life, the different individuals' values have to match. If their values agree about 80%, the partnership or team will probably do well. If their values don't coincide, well, frankly, that relationship will not have a successful outcome.

How do we determine our values?

Try the following exercise: On a piece of paper, write down 10 to 15 values that are important to you. Here are some possibilities: love, friendship, freedom, health, amusement, creativity, wealth, trust and decisiveness. Or for more ideas, you can also check the following list.

Now that you have your own list, determine your highest priorities, the values that will be most important to you over the next three months. Since our values tend to change with experience, keeping the time frame relatively short can help make it easier to decide which values are most important right now. On the other hand, some values never change, and it's a good idea to take note of these, since they're probably very positive for you.

Now write down your goals for the next three months. Be as specific and concrete as possible. Think of your goals as your activities and your values as the motivation behind those activities. What do you really want to achieve in terms of goals? Do you want to create a webinar, go on a journey or finally make that visit to the dentist? This list can be as long as 15 tasks or even longer. Just make sure that you're as precise as possible for the goals you set yourself within the three-month time frame.

Now take the list of your top values, and compare it with the list of your goals. Do they agree? Make certain they do , because if they don't, there's a good chance you'll never achieve your goals.

One of the participants in my seminar, a woman name Karen, listed creativity, curiosity, health, freedom and spontaneity in her list of values. As one of her goals, she wanted to exercise more to improve her health. She was curious about it and was looking forward to meeting the people in her new exercise group and seeing what changes this new routine would create in her body. All her values aligned with that goal. But where was the value that would help her reach her next goal of cleaning up her house and finally putting all her books on the bookshelf? We couldn't find a matching value for that. That was when Karen recognized what was missing: 'Oh, I should have added persistence to my values. But that was not one of my most important values.' Prioritizing her values helped her to realize that organizing her house was an idea in her conscious mind but that her unconscious mind was not really interested in that task.

You may also discover new values, like Ron, another participant my Coaching from the Heart Seminar. Ron mostly focused on negative thoughts as a result of negative past experiences. He is a musician and was playing in well-known rock bands, but he had made some financial agreements that left him at an obvious disadvantage. He complained that he was finding it difficult to trust again in both his business and his intimate relationships. This strong reaction of his may indicate a fear of intimacy. On the other hand, Ron is full of love, and he's surrounded by people who love and protect him. He was simply still finding it difficult to accept this love. But when we started talking about love, about maintaining positive thoughts and ways to make money, Ron started to smile, and he looked like a happy child. We celebrated the moments where he could let go of the past and live in the moment.

For Ron, the key was to allow himself to experience the power of forgiveness.

That single shift in his mindset would be a huge success for him.

Determining your values gives you the power to change from the consciousness of a victim to that of a person who creates a passionate life. Have you written your lists yet? Do it now, so your dreams can come true.