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The Power Behind a Man's Purpose

11/09/2014 11:48 BST | Updated 10/11/2014 10:59 GMT

There is nothing more attractive to a woman then a man serving his purpose. Not serving her, although she might think that's what she wants, but a man serving his purpose to the world. A man who is in his power, directed, focused and impassioned. In a sense it doesn't matter what his goal is: politics, music, film, writing or saving the world, it's the depth of his vision that counts. When you think of all of the attractive male archetypes, they all have this in common. We would prefer if the man has values and a moral code, but this isn't always the case when it comes to attraction. A man serving his purpose is like the hunter with his eye on a kill. In fact many of the reasons a women is attracted to a man goes back to those basics. Large pecks do no heavy lifting in everyday life; in fact the only thing they are really used for is packing a good punch. We don't want our man to be a bully boy but if he could knock out the rapist or looter from the neighbouring tribe we then feel protected. The same goes for his mental capacity. The masculine energy is forward moving 'doing, fixing, sorting and achieving.' The feminine energy is 'passive, stillness and being' it is intuitive awareness, feminine is 'knowing' beyond words. These actions or emotional states have little to do with being a man or a woman; they are the energy of the essence of male and female. In a relationship the man is always the guest and the woman the host, which goes down to some sexual basics: the penis and the vagina.

We live in a world of dualities: North and South, Good and Bad, Male and Female etc. Imagine that from the point of the big bang, everything is made of sound. In order for the world to stay in harmony it needs to keep the high pitch and the low pitch tones in equal balance. Picture if you will that the male energy is a big bass drum, and the female energy is a violin. Women in the past 20 years have become drum beaters. I believe this is because of the women's liberation movement, I am all for equality, but the change wasn't a movement into the power of the feminine; it was a movement into the masculine.

In an interview Maria Kempinska MBE - Founder & CEO of Jongleurs Comedy Clubs talks about how to in business create a structure so you don't have to fight your corner all of the time. See the interview here.

In order to keep the world in balance we find more and more men have taken up the violin. Men are not marching their purpose to the beat of the drum. Even though women are now seeking purpose outside of a family life, they are being dynamic in masculine ways. Yet sexually what they are attracted to is still the same. The men serving their purpose, and a purpose more powerful than her purpose is in short supply. When she finds a good man, rather than support him, she often tries to encourage him into becoming more powerful. This undermines him and sends him more feminine. Sadly this relationship won't last, and it will take him longer to find his lost masculinity then it will to find a new mate.

It would be wrong to stop women being fabulous achievers; in fact it is the feminine energy that will bring about world peace. We have been living with the beat of the drum for a long time. It is now time for a shift in the dynamic from masculine power to feminine. This shift is the best way to bring about a change of consciousness so badly needed to address the global issues we currently face peacefully.

Global change is one thing, but for many women there is a more pressing problem, an empty bed.

So here is my solution for violin players and drum beaters everywhere:

Men - Find a purpose. Something you care about. Start with looking at the things in the world that annoy you or makes you angry. The chances are the cause of those issues is also something you battle with inside of yourself. Whatever makes you angry in life something you were born to heal, perhaps not only in the world but also in yourself. It doesn't have to form a career, but an purpose forms the underlying mission behind everything you do. If you don't know, take yourself out of everyday life for a few days. With nothing to do, speak to no one and hold the silence until it emerges from you like a beacon of light from your heart.

Women - Get in touch with your authentic feelings. When you are with a man on a date or in a full on relationship, notice when you negatively judge him, what are the underlying emotions? At first glance it looks like irritation or annoyance, but it's more likely fear. When our man isn't serving his purpose it makes us fearful. We don't like this feeling, so we cover it up by trying to control the situation and force our man into changing. The truth is if we went to him with our authentic emotions, he wouldn't see us as needy or vulnerable, it would give him a noble purpose. Men can read women, we don't like to believe it, but they know when we come from a non-authentic place and they have no interest in drama. Men always react to honest emotion, and if they don't, walk away. However you have to be true to yourself to know if you're being honest. That's where the female intuition and 'depth of being' comes in. When you speak from this place, that's when transformation happens.

If you would like to see experts talking about 'power' in this film I have created for Psychologies Magazine here. Including experts: Andrea Gardner ~ The Power of Words Maria Kempinska MBE ~ Founder & CEO of Jongleurs Comedy Clubs Nick Seneca Jankel ~ Founder of Ripe & Ready Maureen Younger ~ Comedian, actor and writer Susanna Halonen ~ Happyologist and Coach David Meckin ~ Author of "How To Grow Your Own Money" Ali Campbell ~ Celebrity life coach

For the full film on Power and for monthly films on psychology subjects sign-up here.