THE BLOG

Irrelevant Party Leader Stops Leading Irrelevant Party

21/07/2014 19:01 BST | Updated 20/09/2014 10:59 BST

In a political move that will affect approximately no one, Nick Griffin has stepped down as Chairman of the BNP.

The irrelevant Mr Griffin will be replaced by the even less relevant deputy chairman, Adam Walker, who will now lead the irrelevant party into further irrelevance.

A press release from the BNP states the former leader actually stepped down on Saturday but the whole world failed to notice until two days later.

The BNP have had a tough time of late, losing all of their seats in the European elections as their voters switched to the much shinier, Ukip.

The main key performance indicator for the new Chairman will be to boost the BNP's share of the electoral vote above the 1.1% mark.

Griffin will take up the position of 'President', a grand-sounding title that will give him absolutely zero political influence and do nothing to increase his approval ratings which are so low everybody stopped bothering to measure them years ago.

It is not known if Griffin will continue with his unintentionally hilarious cookery show in which he dispensed such golden tips as: "Remember to remove the foil from stock cubes."

Griffin's departure marks the ideal time to look back on the overly long and ultimately fruitless history of the BNP.

Highlights include:

1) That BNP Youth video that showed terrifyingly brainwashed kids pledge allegiance to an ideal of Britishness that never existed while decrying gays, Zionists, bankers, media, immigration and Stephen Lawrence's mum.

2) The time Griffin was reduced to eating roadkill and selling scrap metal to fund his party.

3) When he said children will die if they are brought up in "homes which aren't married".

4) Oh, and let's not forget the feeling of sympathy that failed to sweep the nation when Griffin was declared bankrupt.

So Nick, here's to repeating the success of your old job in your new one. CHEERS!