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The Toddler-o - A Mummy's Alternative to the Gruffalo

13/05/2015 11:22 BST | Updated 12/05/2016 10:59 BST

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A Mummy took a stroll through the toy cluttered home.

A bed saw the Mummy and the Mummy groaned.

"Don't rush away Mummy," the comfy bed said,

"Come lie here and rest your weary head."

"It's terribly kind of you, bed, but no -

It's nearly nap time for a toddler-o."

"A toddler-o? What's a toddler-o?"

" A toddler-o! Why, didn't you know?

He has a terrible temper, and terrible scream,

He won't share things and he's really mean."

"What is that sound?"

"He's calling my name,

And jumping on beds is his favourite game."

"Jumping on beds! I'm off!" Bed said.

"Goodbye weary Mummy," and away bed sped.

"Silly old bed! Doesn't he know,

There's no such thing as a toddler-o?"

On went the Mummy through the toy cluttered home.

A bath saw the Mummy and the Mummy groaned.

"Don't rush away Mummy," the hot bath said,

"Come have a long soak with bubbles instead."

"It's frightfully nice of you, bath, but no -

I need to clean a toddler-o."

"A toddler-o? What's a toddler-o?"

" A toddler-o! Why, didn't you know?

He kicks and he throws, and he shouts "NO! NO! NO!"

He bosses you about like he's running the show."

"What is that sound?"

"He'starting to shout,

if I mention a bath he will cry and he'll pout."

"Cry and pout!" Bath said. "who knew?"

"Goodbye stressed Mummy," and away bath flew.

"Silly old bath! Doesn't he know,

There's no such thing as a toddler-o?"

On went the Mummy through the toy cluttered home.

A kettle saw the Mummy and the Mummy groaned.

"Don't rush away Mummy," the nice kettle said,

"Come sit here and have a cuppa instead."

"It's wonderfully good of you, kettle, but no -

I need to make supper for a toddler-o."

"A toddler-o? What's a toddler-o?"

" A toddler-o! Why, didn't you know?

He goes red with rage, and his nose is quite snotty,

He doesn't like to wear clothes and he has a stinky botty."

"What is that sound?"

"He's demanding milk,

and when he's around drinks will get spilt."

"Drinks will get spilt! I't's time I hid."

"Goodbye thirsty Mummy," and away kettle slid.

"Silly old kettle! Doesn't he know,

There's no such thing as a toddler..."

...Oh!"

But who is this boy with a terrible scream,

He won't share things and he's really mean?

He kicks and he throws, and he shouts "NO! NO! NO!"

He bosses you about like he's running the show.

He goes red with rage, and his nose is quite snotty,

He doesn't like to wear clothes and he has a stinky botty.

"Oh help! Oh no!

It's a toddler-o!

"I want my food!" the toddler-o said.

I'm going to stamp my feet until I'm fed!"

"Rude," said the Mummy "Don't be so rude!

If you are polite you'll get some food.

Just walk behind me and soon you'll see,

the one in charge is actually me."

"All right," said the toddler-o, bursting with laughter.

"Me go first and you follow after."

They walked through the home till the toddler-o said,

"I hear a creak in the room ahead."

"It's bed," said the Mummy. "Why, bed, hello!"

Bed took one look at the toddler-o.

"Oh crumbs!" he said, "You need a nap!"

And into the bed the toddler-o collapsed.

"You see?" said the Mummy "I told you so."

"Sleepy!" said the toddler-o.

After his nap the toddler-o said,

"I hear a splash in the room ahead."

"It's bath," said the Mummy. "Why, bath, hello!"

Bath took one look at the toddler-O.

"Oh dear!" he said, "You need a wash!"

And into the bath the toddler-o sploshed.

"You see?" said the Mummy "I told you so."

"Clean me!" said the toddler-o.

After his wash the toddler-o said,

"I hear a click in the room ahead."

"It's kettle," said the Mummy. "Why, kettle, hello!"

Kettle took one look at the Toddler-O.

"Oh help!" he said, "Please no more mess,"

"Your poor Mummy, she needs a rest."

"Well, toddler-o," said the Mummy. "You see?

The one in charge is actually me!

But now I'm really gasping for a cuppa,

I'll drink my tea whilst you - eat your supper!"

"Eat my supper!" the toddler-o said,

And quick as the wind he turned and fled.

All was strangely quiet in the toy cluttered home.

You can't win them all, but you can give it a go!

This post was first published on Life Love and Dirty Dishes