So, I had mapped out a whole screed about women in comedy and the insanity of the 'women aren't funny' thing and the under-representation of females in humour and blah-di-blah. I'd planned to assemble some devastating arguments, formulate some delightful counterpoints and had lined up some really tremendous swear words with which to pepper the whole thing. It was going to be fantastic. Really fucking fantastic.
But then I realised I had absolutely nothing insightful to say about it. So instead I began to compile a list of illustrative moments featuring various hilarious ladies. Then I decided to just publish that list and forget about the article altogether. I'm lazy. I'm a writer.
Top of the list? Three words that can devastate that whole fictional 'women aren't funny' or 'women are funny in a different way' argument. Those three words? Catherine O'Hara. Catherine O'Hara on SCTV? Are you kidding me? Is there anyone or anything funnier than that? (With the exception of the grape treading/falling over/making that weird noise news reporter. And she was a woman too, remember?). Lola Heatherton? Dusty Towne? Her Morgan Fairchild impression? The best.
And Jill Talley on Mr Show? In the 'Ronnie Dobbs the Musical' sketch? Incredible
Mrs Doyle falling off that window ledge.
Julia Davis on Nighty Night.
Julia Davis on Big Train.
Julia Davis in anything. Just Julia Davis.
And speaking of Big Train, this:
Gilda Radner as Lisa Loopner? Or on Update? Or La Dolce Gilda?
The French and Saunders Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn Sketch.
Morwenna Banks on Absolutely. And on Catterick. God, I love Morwenna Banks.
Kath & Kim & especially Sharon.
Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank. Or on Conan. Or her books.
Kathy Burke as Waynetta Slob?
Kerri Kenney in The State, up against ten dudes and killing every time.
Lake Bell and Erinn Hayes on Children's Hospital, just being so good and weird.
Victoria Wood and Julie Walters either on Acorn Antiques or serving soup?
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman?
Sarah Silverman winning The Aristocrats.
I could go on. All right I will.
@JulieKlausner, @molls, @SarahThyre, @Ladybirdj, @meganamram and the 450,000 other funny women on Twitter
The Smack the Pony 'singing rivals'. Actually everything on Smack the Pony with the exception of about four songs and six sketches.
Alison Steadman in Nuts in May. Alison Steadman in Abigail's Party.
Jessica St Clair as Marissa Wompler on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast.
Garfunkel and Oates.
Mrs Merton talking to Debbie McGee.
Samantha Bee on The Daily Show.
Jo Neary - who got me into comedy in the first place.
The Tittybangbang darts sketch and Debbie Chazen in particular.
Jaye P. Morgan on The Gong Show (who I used to rush home from school to lust over. Still love foul-mouthed women).
Joan Rivers on Louie.
Maria Bamford (the Bammer - especially her insane turn on Tim & Eric).
This amazing thing:
Kristen Wiig's Ann-Margret.
Jayne Lynch in just about anything but especially Party Down.
Janeane Garofalo on Larry Sanders and in the Ben Stiller Show.
Kristen Schall on Flight of the Conchords and Bob's Burgers and her stand-up.
Jen Kirkman's appearance on Drunk History.
Miranda Richardson's appearence as The Queen in Blackadder.
(Obviously I'm just pulling all of this out of my ass. This is just stuff that I like and can remember. I haven't even looked at movies. Don't make me look at movies. Then I'll start talking about Teri Garr and we could be here all night.)
Dolly Wells on that Noel Fielding show.
Alice Lowe in Darkplace.
Stiller and Meara? Nichols and May? Anna and Katy?
Susie Essman saying 'fat fuck' a lot on Curb.
Andrea Martin as 'Dutch' in Chariots of Eggs.
Maya Rudolph's Donatella Versace.
That Portlandia Aimee Mann sketch and Aimee Mann being poisoned by Jon Wurster on the Best Show.
Tamsin Greig, drunk on Life Cry, in Black Books.
Felicity Montagu on Alexi Sayle's Stuff and Partridge of course.
Michelle Gomez in Green Wing.
And finally: Tina Fey. Tina fucking Fey. Right? Tina Fey? And especially the phrase "fancy pageant-walking" Is there anything better?
Ok, I'm finished. Apologies to all the people I forgot. I am very tired. Sorry if this was dumb.
Follow Dale Shaw on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@montybodkin