THE BLOG

Mummy's Heart - The End Of Maternity Leave

15/06/2017 15:57 BST | Updated 15/06/2017 15:57 BST

Just 18 short months ago my heart was breaking because it was looking like I would never be a mummy. Having spent years of loving my nieces and nephews and waiting my turn, I was facing the reality that I might not ever have a child of my own. I was sad and getting sadder. I was weary of carrying the purple bag* to appointment after appointment, and even more weary of injecting myself full of hormones day after day, my stomach black and hard with bruises.

15 short months ago my heart was palpitating with the anxiety of whether my body would do what it should and protect my precious pregnancy. Every twinge sent me into a fit of worry that my long awaited gift was being rejected by my body. Scan after scan and no end of morning sickness could do anything to put my mind at ease, it was sure to be a long nine months, but I couldn't believe I was finally expecting a child of my own!

Nine short months ago, my heart was bursting with joy, as I finished work for my maternity leave with an elective cesarean section scheduled 10 days later. The nursery was decorated, my hospital bag packed and baby M was stubbornly breach. I was more than ready to finally meet my long awaited baby girl and take her home to begin our life as a family.

And today my heart is heavy. The months have gone quickly and my glorious maternity leave is all but over. Tomorrow morning I will start my last day of maternity leave with my beautiful, amazing little girl M.

The last nine months have without a doubt been the best of my life. I always knew I wanted to be a mummy, but nothing could have prepared me for the love I would feel for my infant. There have been hard parts; cluster feeding, split nipples and sleep deprivation spring to mind, but still it has been the most amazing time of my life and I am incredibly grateful for it. I am grateful for the science that enabled me to conceive, I am grateful for the maternity rights we enjoy in the UK and most of all I am grateful for the most beautiful little girl I could ever have wished for.

I have participated in some wonderful baby groups, spent time with my lovely family and met some amazing women also starting their journey through motherhood. But most of all I have become a mummy to a little girl who makes my heart burst with pride every single day. Thank you baby M xxx

So tonight, as I prepare to enjoy my final day of maternity leave, I'll be reflecting on the path I've travelled and having a glass of bubbly (or two) to celebrate motherhood and the best nine months of my life. Thank you to everyone that has been a part of my journey. And cheers to all the mummies returning to work xxx

* The purple bag is what you receive to carry your syringes, injectables, tablets, schedules and tests in at (the very wonderful) Burton Fertility Clinic.