Mr Biggles is a shiny, black cat waiting to be adopted. He’s also a bit of a bastard.
That’s according to staff at Cat People of Melbourne in Australia, who have penned a ridiculously honest (and super hilarious) description of the shelter’s most notorious member.
Mr Biggles - who sounds like he’s part of the moggy mafia - loves to swipe at feet and dish out the occasional nip. He’s also a fan of punctuality - if he isn’t fed on time, he kicks off.
The cat, who has been described as a “despot and dictator”, has become something of a minor celebrity in Australia thanks to his no-nonsense cattitude.
The cat is currently being fostered by the shelter’s founder Brett, according to HuffPost, however he’s in need of a permanent home.
“Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard,” reads the feisty feline’s award-winning description.
“He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes... but beware.
“Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can’t go outside when he wants to be let out. Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there, is also a tantrum-inducing exercise.”
The cat will also let you know if he isn’t happy, “which is often because things are just not up to his high standards”.
According to shelter staff, if Lord Bigglesworth is displeased, his eyes will go dark and his tail will start swishing harder.
He also likes cuddles on his terms and if the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.
Despite his terrifying demeanour, the cat does reportedly have a soft side and enjoys playing with kittens and having the occasional snuggle.
He is also relatively chatty and will respond if you talk to him, staff said.
They concluded the post by saying that Mr Biggles is not a cat for the inexperienced or faint hearted. As such, he needs an owner that “won’t take his nipping personally but won’t let him get away with bad behaviour either”.
If you would like to become Mr Biggles’ “human slave” or you’d simply like to know more about him, get in touch with Cat People Of Melbourne.