It’s official, Pokemon Go has stolen all of your friends and you worry you might never go back to your pre-Pikachu levels of friendship.
You tried downloading it to get in on the hype, but you would be lying to yourself if you thought catching a Pidgey was the way you wanted to spend your Friday night.
And there’s no use even trying to find new friends, because according to Forbes, 7.5 million people have downloaded the app in the USA alone.
The odds aren’t looking in your favour...
1. Accepting that your friends will always be late because they insist on walking rather than getting public transport.
2. Spending a lot of time hanging out in abandoned car parks.
3. Feeling like such a fraud every time you are unintentionally caught in a conversation about hatching eggs.
4. Having to accept that all of your friends are now nocturnal.
5. Dealing with their emotional crisis when the server goes down.
6. Knowing that everyone is looking at their phone 24/7 but has no intention of texting you.
7. Having to tell them there’s a Charizard in your back garden so they’ll actually come visit you.
8. Staging a daily intervention to stop them all quitting their jobs to become a full-time Pokémon trainer.
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