THE BLOG

I Am Not Defined by Feeding

24/07/2015 11:36 BST | Updated 23/07/2016 10:59 BST

Am I the only mother that doesn't define herself by a feeding method? I'm not a breastfeeder, I'm not a bottle feeder. I'm a mum. I don't need to state my feeding method to be accepted or validated by society.

If there are other mums out there that are on my level and I connect with, I'll connect with them. I am not concerned about where your babies milk comes from.

I swore I'd never talk about the BF word again so I'm not going to, I'm going to talk about types of burger.

Here is a ridiculous scenario to highlight why should not be defined by feeding.

Two mums are at the park with their kids. They're all getting hungry... Mum 1 suggests going to Burger King for lunch. Mum 2 simply cannot understand this preference, after all she is a McDonalds kind of mum. They go their separate ways, each join a separate Facebook group (Normalise BK and Maccy mums of FB) and take selfies with their child eating in the preferred fast food outlet. #NormaliseBK is now the new Twitter trend.

If the feeding campaigners continued into their baby's childhood, this is how ridiculous the world would be! It is only ever mums that create mum wars. Midwives sign us off if mum and baby are happy and healthy. Health visitors tick all the boxes if mum and baby are happy and healthy. Bosses sign off risk assessments when new mums return to work and they're happy and healthy. It is only mums that create the wars. Nobody else cares about these childish debates that never actually achieve anything. Yes, the media does exaggerate certain stories to fuel debate but it is the mums that continue the debate. Just ignore it! We rarely see dads ranting about feeding choices, we rarely see non-parents ranting, children do not care... it is only the mums! We can end the unnecessary divide.

The very act of calling yourself a BK mum or a Maccies mum is what divides mums! It's no good saying I don't judge Maccies mums because the fact that you are putting yourself in a separate group suggests separation and an underlying tone of judgement. Why should you judge them? They do not feel the need to state that they don't judge you.

If you consider yourself to be defined by a feeding method, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If you're feeding to keep your baby happy and healthy then we're all defined by being mums! That's what we do, we look after our babies.

BK or Maccies... It doesn't matter! At the end of the day it's a burger. We can argue that one burger is healthier but essentially it's the same, it's nourishment.

If anyone wants to end the divide, stop dividing yourself. Don't refer to yourself as a BK or Maccies mum and everyone else will stop categorising you too. Unless of course you want to be defined by feeding?

A Maccies mum can't join a BK group because she doesn't go there. So regardless of whether or not she is judged by the BK mums, she's singled out and cannot join in the conversation.

If BK mums truly respect Maccies mums and vice versa, just join a burger group. Then we're all the same. As it should be.