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Why Dressage Is the Best Sport at the London 2012 Olympic Games

Posted: 03/08/2012 01:00

It's been said many times before by more eloquent moaners than myself, but when I failed to get a single ticket after promising the best part of £400 in the first round of applications to go to events at the 2012 Olympics, I was gutted, especially as I've been a Londoner for 16 years.

Being a lifelong horserider (don't worry, I wasn't rich enough to have my own horse and looked after a dumpy New Forest pony who belonged to someone else), the bulk of my mythical money had been spent on equestrian events (three day eventing, show jumping and dressage), with a few cheeky invisible quid on another love, tennis. However, after Locog's computer said "no", I resigned my sulky self to sneaked glimpses of my favourite events on telly - but totally wrote off my chances of watching any dressage even on the box, being as it is, one of the most niche sports at this year's capital-based sport fest and not favoured by the likes of the BBC.

But the angels/universe/unicorns were looking down on me, and just two days ago due to unforeseen circumstances, a friend said she had a spare ticket for the mane, sorry, main event - DRESSAGE! - and would I like to trot along with her to the grand prix in Greenwich Park on Thursday morning?

To say I was chuffing thrilled to bits and champing at the bit is an understatement. Okay, I appreciate few people have a Danny La Rue about what dressage actually is (and I'm no expert), but I was a bit baffled when most couldn't understand my excitement. A colleague mused, head cocked in a confused manner: "Erm, it's pony ballet, isn't it?" or as another friend grumped: "It's just horses trotting sideways."

Well, yes, there are elements of hoof, sorry, truth in both. But if you are looking for one of the purest, poetic and most beautiful of sports in the Olympic canon at this year's London 2012, then this is it - if you give it some attention. Ultimately, it's the thousands of years-old struggle of human trying to bring 1500lbs of potentially wild horse to heel. Horses are big, powerful and can potentially kill you - but dressage riders make them dance gracefully and make it look effortless. All while wearing top hats.

And even more brilliantly, Britain are some of the best dressage riders in the world, and a hot tip to bring home yet more gold for Team GB - after yesterday, Carl Hester and Laura Bechtolsheimer are in first and second place. Their teammate Charlotte Dujardin is still to ride today, and equally fancied to bring home a medal.

And that is no mean feat. With the flick of a fetlock (ankle to us humans), medals are won or lost. With horse and rider both immaculately turned out (silk titfers, an approximation of white tie and supremely kinky black leather boots on the men/women riders, while plaited manes, tails and oiled hooves for the horses are de rigeur), they perform a ridiculously hard and precise set test in the sawdust arena before FIVE sets of judges, all nitpicking about the perfection of a walk or a circle performed by horse and rider.

And it's never that simple either. With intricate messages sent to the horse with the twitch of a rein, nudge of a heel, shift of weight in the saddle or position of a leg, the riders coax their magnificent steeds to perform increasingly difficult tasks of utmost precision in a smooth and seamless manner, to make it look like horses would do this every day themselves while mooching around the paddock. But let me tell you, without the rider, they wouldn't. These are no one-trick ponies, ahem. This is the ultimate in equine training, where horse listens to rider - because it loves and trusts them and wants to - in a split second.

In fact, anyone that feels that the horses only do the tests by rote like canine agility dogs for the odd Bonio should have seen Canadian rider David Marcus, who had to retire after his horse Capital went batshit mental and started bucking and rearing for no good reason in the arena. And the relatively tiny human rider really couldn't do anything about massive hunk of nag having a paddy. See?

And as much as dressage is the ultimate test of athleticism for horse and rider, the 71-year-old Japanese rider Hiroshi Hoketsu can still take part because of the added subtlety and cerebral nature of the discipline and get an impressive score on his beautiful chestnut horse Whisper. Seriously, how cool is that?

Thing is, dressage is a supreme communication between person and animal and the nuances in a pumped-up, muscle-bound, human-centric London 2012 are just gorgeous.

And that's before I start gushing about how beautiful the setting of the temporary arena in Greenwich Park is, how amazing the 2012 volunteers are, how incredible the flag-waving, all-nations atmosphere was, how the sun came out (bar the soaking I got on the way back to the DLR) and how I totally and utterly finally fell under the spell of London 2012.

But the best bit? Our reigning dressage king Carl Hester steering his stunningly sleek black steed Uthopia faultlessly around the arena to a soundtrack blasting out on the PA of discofied, easy-listening versions of Queen's greatest hits.

It's a kind of magic? Oh yes.

Some key dressage movements:

Half pass - horse trotting sideways

Piaffe - appearing to trot on the spot in an imperious manner - horse looks like a wondrous mechanical toy

Pirouette - horse canters round in a circle whilst its hindlegs stay roughly in the same spot - bit of a disco move

Extended trot - at it's best, the horse looks like it's floating on air as it strides down the edge of the arena

Rein back - horse walking backwards as if there are some oats behind it

Flying change - horse changes which leg it leads on while cantering, to make it appear as if it's skipping. SERIOUSLY, HOW COOL IS THAT?

2012-08-02-427458_10151114712775804_936127613_n.jpg

Me and Wenlock, kitted out in dressage garb, at Greenwich Park at the London 2012 dressage Grand Prix

 

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It's been said many times before by more eloquent moaners than myself, but when I failed to get a single ticket after promising the best part of £400 in the first round of applications to go to event...
It's been said many times before by more eloquent moaners than myself, but when I failed to get a single ticket after promising the best part of £400 in the first round of applications to go to event...
 
 
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09:26 AM on 08/05/2012
You do realise that the BBC has 24 channels devoted to the Olympics? And yes Dressage is 100% televised.
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Haveissues
You well heeled big wheel, ha ha, charade you are
03:35 PM on 08/03/2012
Not being a horse person, it was very interesting to watch, but "the best sport at the Olympic games"? Hardly. Maybe in your opinion since you are a horse aficionado. I could see where any of the other sports that do not require an animal might be the best, but not dressage. Hardly on the radar before Romney's wife was spotlighted.
02:24 PM on 08/03/2012
No. The best and purest Olympic event is the discus throw, followed closely by the decathlon, which as I rememvber, contains a discus or two. Watching the thrower wind up, spin himself to build power and release the missile is poetry in motion. Maybe we should have a horse Olympics; then, dressage might be the purest event. For me, the Games are about running, throwing and jumping...by humans.
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PRONESE
Somewhat Opinionated Curmudgeon
02:10 PM on 08/03/2012
Insert Romney Spouse comment here:
"******************************************"
Thank you.
R/ PRONESE
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bikelady1
Believe 1/2 of what u see, nothing of what u hear
02:04 PM on 08/03/2012
Seems many commenters here dont understand the meaning of dressage. Warrors had to keep both their hands free for their weapons to win in battle. That left only the riders body positions and legs to control all direcions the rider wanted his horse to go. Its an art....Over the centuries it was just dressed up a bit with the hats, vests, jackets, britches....BTW..its not just for rich folk...any one can learn dressage t one degree or another if they practice....
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SonnyBono
Cogito ergo sum ​​liberalis
03:56 PM on 08/03/2012
Pray tell the last time there was a calvary charge in battle - there are rumors that the Polish calvary charged German panzers in 1939 but no real proof of it - so please tell us how a skill that may have been used 73 years ago is still relevant and would justify the pain inflicted on the horse?
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06:32 PM on 08/04/2012
Sorry ~Sonny, what pain inflicted on the horse?
04:06 PM on 08/10/2012
Quote: " Its an art"

Precisely and not a sport. Given that the oldest competitor at 71 was in the dressage I doubt that it requires neither speed, strength or stamina.
05:22 PM on 08/13/2012
You're right about it not requiring speed, but it definitely requires strength and stamina. Even at 71, that rider has abs of steel to stay with those large movements and not appear to move.

You can definitely ride dressage as an older person because the tact and subtlety required tend to be skills that you refine as you age. However, the Japanese rider is unusually old even for dressage.
02:01 PM on 08/03/2012
I am dubious of any event that needs judges like dressage, synchronised swimming and gymnastic dancing. It becomes subjective and therefore more art than performance. Very nice to look at if that's your cup of tea but hardly sport.
02:25 PM on 08/03/2012
You should try to comb the vaults of SNL for a skit on Olympic synchronized swimming, starring Harry Shearer and Martin Short.
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Haveissues
You well heeled big wheel, ha ha, charade you are
03:31 PM on 08/03/2012
That's a classic!
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butlercaddie
Fear->Anger->Hate->Tea
01:45 PM on 08/03/2012
I like horses, and the best picture of me ever taken was as a lean yong teen on a rented horse on a beach in Mexico. But...

There's a kid from the Bronx who's parents couldn't afford a trip to Mexico, who took a job to help his father pay the mortgage, who made it to the Olympics as a gymnast.

Any sport that can't be learned and mastered by a kid working to save his family has no place in the Olympics.

Let the royals learn table tennis if they want to appear "athletic." Let's see princesses playing beach volleyball.
Ebeneezer Frib
Conservatism: Ideology divorced from practicality
03:20 PM on 08/03/2012
Yes... In particular, I'd like to see Princess Madeleine of Sweden playing beach volleyball.
01:28 PM on 08/03/2012
The sport of the 1%
02:07 PM on 08/03/2012
Only rich people own football/baseball teams. Do only the 1% participate in those sports?
02:57 PM on 08/03/2012
Professionally, less.
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01:11 PM on 08/03/2012
sorry--this a sport that should be about circus, not people. elephants dancing? please...
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Devontate
PrObama
12:48 PM on 08/03/2012
Thank you for defending Dressage. Ann Romney has corrupted it.
02:10 PM on 08/03/2012
The really sad thing is people aren't bothering to learn the facts about the sport before blathering on about it. They're much happier making stupid assumptions b/c of the Romneys.
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thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
12:42 PM on 08/03/2012
Neeeiiiigggghhhhh! or in English ....Nay!
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kgva
My micro-bio is empty
11:28 AM on 08/03/2012
If there was Olympic Jousting, I'd watch every second of it.
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Inkosi
The gods themselves rage against stupidity
03:38 PM on 08/03/2012
kgva - me too! I did own a horse when I lived in California - it ain't cheap. He was a jumper. I love dressage. It is centuries old. Horses trained for war had to learn moves - shooting an arrow on the back of a running horse is no easy accomplishment. A rider has to know the exact moment when the horse has both feet off the ground and is perfectly stable - no jerking. The rider holds multiple arrows in his bow hand the at the precise moment shoots them consecutively. Horses had to respond to the pressure of a leg, a toe, a reign or the rider died. Ghangis Kahn, Attila, the US Calvary all practiced Dressage. Over the years it got refined and embellished for exhibition purposes but at one time, a soldier's life depended on it. Horses do not go into battle, but the art has survived.
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kgva
My micro-bio is empty
08:40 PM on 08/04/2012
Don't get me wrong, I think dressage is an asinine sport and doesn't belong in the Olympics, especially considering how many horses are abused to achieve an unnatural gait.
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nixthetrix
aiming for the center , being pushed to the left
10:38 AM on 08/03/2012
And we thought that Curling was the most boring sport on Earth . I'd rather watch 10 hours of Curling than 10 minutes of horse prancing . Dump Dressage and bring in Barrel Racing . At least that makes a logical use of a clock .
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thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
12:45 PM on 08/03/2012
Hey, I love curling...though my husband just rolls his eyes at me. But, I like to paint as a hobby so I may be predisposed to watching it.
02:32 PM on 08/03/2012
Curling is very cool. No thanks for the horse ballet.
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bikelady1
Believe 1/2 of what u see, nothing of what u hear
02:06 PM on 08/03/2012
The olympics are for everyone....rich, middle income and blue collars that would love barrel racing. Just watch what you like....
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dennis1943
whatever the voices in my head say.......
10:07 AM on 08/03/2012
Barbarian that i am,and one with the unwashed masses,I'll suppress the smirk and pass thank you.......
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Absolute
Teacher and Old-School Liberal
09:37 AM on 08/03/2012
I'd watch if the horses rode the humans.