Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
John Rentoul

GET UPDATES FROM John Rentoul
 

Ask a Silly Question

Posted: 05/12/2012 00:00

Some people collect glass fish. Others collect train numbers. I collect Questions To Which The Answer Is No. It all started with the Daily Mail, a bishop and a grudge against Marks and Spencer. I came across this long headline in the Daily Mail on 6 February 2009:

He's the outcast bishop who denies the Holocaust - yet has been welcomed back by the Pope. But are Bishop Williamson's repugnant views the result of a festering grudge against Marks & Spencer?

Such was my youthful arrogance that - I can admit this now - I did not read the story at the time. I knew that I did not need to. Luckily, I was right. Three years later, I can confirm that it quoted Edna Andrews, the family's housekeeper, who said that Bishop Williamson's mother thought that his father, a hosiery buyer, had been denied promotion at Marks & Spencer because he was not Jewish.

At the time, I named it my "headline of the day" on The Independent blog and thought little of it. But it was like that scene in a film where our innocent hero shouts to his friends, behind whom he is lagging, and the echo reverberates around the mountain, triggering an avalanche. (Can that actually happen, I wonder? That, too, is probably a Question To Which The Answer Is No.)

People who read the Daily Mail and minority-interest websites rather more than me started to send me examples of other questions that implied the answer was yes when it was really no. Thus began my series, described - admiringly I think - by fellow blogger Matthew Barrett as "the most useless collection of headlines in the blogosphere".

Many of them were picture questions, with a bias towards aliens and monsters. "Is This Atlantis?" (The Sun, February 2009.) "Is This the Monster of Lake Windermere?" (Mirror, February 2011.) "Is This a Squadron of UFOs Flying Over California?" (Daily Mail, May 2011.) "Is This a Secret Space Station on Mars?" (Mail Online, June 2011.) "Is This an Alien Spacecraft Parked Next to Mercury?" (Daily Mail, December 2011.) "Is This Life on Venus?" (Mail Online, January 2012.) Most of those could have been entitled, "Is This a Speck of Dust That Has Been Magnified So Much That It Looks a Bit Like Something Else?"

Any picture that included anything that could have been a blurry human-shaped figure would be headlined "Is This Bigfoot?" or "Is This Finally Evidence That Bigfoot Exists?" Or "the Yeti".

One of my early favourites was "Is the Turin Shroud Genuine After All?" a lovely question in the Mail on Sunday in April 2009, especially for that highly-collectable "After All" at the end, which brilliantly implies that the Mail on Sunday knows perfectly well that the shroud is a fake, but that some startling new evidence has come to light that suggests that the fruitcakes had been right "all along".

The series might have been made for Twitter, on which it acquired the hashtag #QTWTAIN, and entries continued to pour in. Even the starchy Economist noted that this "rolling log of press headlines that fall into the category of Questions to Which the Answer is No" had acquired a "cult following". Which was actually a way of covering its embarrassment at asking a QTWTAIN of its own: "Is Britain's tabloid press getting serious about improving standards?"

The collection now has 882 exhibits, the best of which are selected for a book published in time for Christmas by Elliott & Thompson. And there has been no falling-off in quality. Martin Jacques recently asked on the BBC News website: "Is China more democratic than the West?" The Daily Mail is still on form with: "Would you dare to wear the romper suit for grown-ups?" And local newspapers continue their proud tradition of leading the way, Get Reading (that is Reading the place, rather than reading a newspaper) reporting the US President's re-election last month by referring to his visit to Wokingham in 1996 and asking: "Was Barack Obama inspired by 1990s Berkshire visit?"

Questions To Which The Answer Is No is published by Elliott & Thompson £11.99

 

Follow John Rentoul on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JohnRentoul

FOLLOW UK CULTURE
Some people collect glass fish. Others collect train numbers. I collect Questions To Which The Answer Is No. It all started with the Daily Mail, a bishop and a grudge against Marks and Spencer. I came...
Some people collect glass fish. Others collect train numbers. I collect Questions To Which The Answer Is No. It all started with the Daily Mail, a bishop and a grudge against Marks and Spencer. I came...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 11
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
08:28 AM on 12/06/2012
So John Rentoul reckons he knows better than scientists and physicists does he? As even they are pretty convinced the shroud seems genuine. The author of the above article should not try to impose his lack of belief and unscientific conclusion regarding the Turin shroud on readers. He ought to get the facts but in his mind he's convinced the Turin shroud is a fake, so therefore ( in his world) the rest of us should agree with him. Well in yer dreams John cause I make up my own mind and scientific analysis of the shroud is inconclusive.
10:54 AM on 12/06/2012
The shroud cannot be genuine, or Jesus cannot be the Son of God.
Mutually exculsive I'm afraid.
That, or we accept Jesus broke the 2nd Commandment.
03:31 PM on 12/08/2012
How on earth do you reach that conclusion? I'd like to point out that Jeses IS the son of God but this does not stop the fact that the shroud can be genuine because scientists are unsure/ undecided how this image could have been left on the shroud. As for your comment regarding the 2nd commandment, well if the shroud is genuine then you must remember that for those who believe it is,the shroud , it is NOT worshipped! It is honered but not worshipped ! Only God is worshipped.
I'm a catholic and I honer the virgin Mary and the saints . I also aknowledge symbols representing reminders of his life , death and resurrection and death eg a crucifix symbol but I do NOT worship them, we only worship God ( Father, son and holy spirit) . It is the same thing with the shroud, if it is Jesus's image then it would be honered in memory of his passion but definately not worshipped or adored.
05:44 PM on 12/06/2012
"scientific analysis of the shroud is inconclusive"

Only to those who did not like the unanimous conclusion of three independent labs.

Of co
03:38 PM on 12/08/2012
Your comment is not complete so i didn't see what else you had to say. However, there was NO unanimous decision yet as regards the shroud. So don't talk rubbish!Anyway, just because you desperately want to believe it's ungenuine or fake doesn't make it so!


Just because you desperately want to believe it's ungenuine or fake doesn't make it so!
08:01 AM on 12/06/2012
When newspapers print headlines that end with a '?', that is a sure sign they haven't actually done enough journalism to know what the answer is.
05:58 PM on 12/05/2012
Yea and then Broxted did appear and said "Miliband failed to show clear blue water between the discredited Blair-Brown Labour party and the brand is still toxic". At that time Rehill did smite plod mightily, hip and thigh. (Book Of Dachshund, Ch 1 v 9-10)
lastpost
see biography
02:40 PM on 12/05/2012
“I collect Questions To Which The Answer Is No.”
Interested?

“bishop who denies the Holocaust”
discovers he’s been celebrating Christmas on the wrong day? See pope’s new book for further details.

“our innocent hero shouts to his friends, behind whom he is lagging, and the echo reverberates around the mountain, triggering an avalanche. “
S’no chance.

"Is This a Speck of Dust That Has Been Magnified So Much That It Looks a Bit Like Something Else?"
Or the bent-over ends of a staple, holding something to the reverse of a house-for-sale picture. That as a photocopy, looks like a pair of flying saucers in the sky.

"Is This Finally Evidence That Bigfoot Exists?"
And if it is, given past experience, will it be long before we actually render it extinct?

“some startling new evidence “
Turns out, science too is fallible.

“Questions to Which the Answer is No" had acquired a "cult following".
But could it secure charity tax-exemption status in the States?

"Is Britain's tabloid press getting serious about improving standards?"
Do bears have bidets?

"Is China more democratic than the West"
End? Answer’s on a domestic servant’s application form.

"Was Barack Obama inspired by 1990s Berkshire visit?"
to look elsewhere for a tan.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
10:35 AM on 12/05/2012
HERES ONE I PREPARED EARLIER MR POLITICAL COMMENTATOR...........................

DOES THE INDEPENDENT HAVE THE GUTS TO PRINT THE TRUTH ABOUT

DR DAVID KELLY'S DEATH AND ALL THOSE INVOLVED IN THE CONSPIRACY TO PERVERT THE COURSE OF JUSTICE ??????????????????

NO...........................HA........................