Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Jonathan and Charlotte

GET UPDATES FROM Jonathan and Charlotte
 

Back From the Brink of Depression

Posted: 28/09/2012 00:00

By Jonathan

Depression and the things surrounding it are no simple topic, nor are they anything to be taken lightly. I think, though, that to have a sombre view on the things of the past is pointless. What has happened has happened. And with that, I will attempt to look lightly upon the events of last year.

In the winter of 2010 I exited a relationship that ended messily, though thankfully not violently. Well, not outwardly violently. It was during this relationship and the troubles that it went through, that I started self-harming. I felt dependent upon being in a relationship to be happy, to be me. When that relationship ended, it felt like the end of me, despite how much trouble it had been.

Just after, I returned to school, feeling outcast but trying as hard as I could to continue on, to be myself and have friends, even though I was steadily drifting further away from people I thought were my friends. My last year at West Hatch wasn't the best of the lot, but hell, I kept a brave face.

Halfway through 2011 I found out that I had the opportunity to go to a private school in my area, under a 50% music scholarship, and I was utterly thrilled, it was what drove me to carry on through the year, gave me something to aim towards; the promise of a tomorrow, the promise of a continued existence.

I arrived at the beginning of the new term, fresh faced and ecstatic to be at a new place, new people, new beginning, new life. The school was big, there was a church, an overfunded music department, and an air of grandeur. I attended my classes, I had fun, met some new faces, and some amazing people. It was not for a few weeks that things took a turn for the worse.

I've never been one for pressure. I tend to burst under pressure. And the school had a fair bit of it, I just wasn't used to such a workload. Early mornings for choir, late evenings for choir too, slightly longer school day than normal, extra periods, homework every day in the evening in the form of full essays, I just couldn't take it. I broke down. I went to the bed in the matron's office and just wouldn't move. I couldn't take it anymore.

From there I left school, the only clear option to me. My parents were upset of course because they were paying for the school and still had another term to pay for that I wouldn't be attending. That only compounded my sadness. I went into counselling with a man named Giovanni. We clicked instantly, everything he said made so much sense to me. I was put on medication.

In the night I would wake up. 3am and beyond were my primary waking hours. The silence around me told me I was alone, alone with my thoughts and with the darkness not only around me, but that I felt it inside of me. There was no reason for my existence, the very thing I had gone to this new school for had been dragged away and it was no-one's fault but my own. I couldn't socialise properly. I couldn't go on.

And then something miraculous happened. Charlotte texted me saying we'd got an invite to the Britain's Got Talent producer auditions. I remembered that she had applied earlier in the year, but I had forgotten all about it. We went, but we didn't hear anything for months. I lost hope that it would go anywhere, but the call came in, the first audition happened and well, the rest is history.

By some miracle, I have survived my ordeal with depression, I am still on medication, but may be coming off gradually at the end of this year. If you're feeling depressed, even if you're a little down, let the words flow, talk to someone, a friend, a teacher, someone online, get some advice, some help even. Even if it's just hanging out with people you genuinely like, do it! Every little thing will help. Don't fall prey to your own emotions. Speak out and be heard.

Jonathan and Charlotte's debut album Together is out now.

 

Follow Jonathan and Charlotte on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JonCharOfficial

FOLLOW UK ENTERTAINMENT
By Jonathan Depression and the things surrounding it are no simple topic, nor are they anything to be taken lightly. I think, though, that to have a sombre view on the things of the past is pointless...
By Jonathan Depression and the things surrounding it are no simple topic, nor are they anything to be taken lightly. I think, though, that to have a sombre view on the things of the past is pointless...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 25
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2  Next ›  Last »  (2 total)
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
23:29 on 19/11/2012
Jonathan: I get choked up every time I hear you sing. There is just something so true in the feeling that comes through your music. Charlotte is probably not an innocent angel, but her voice feels like it; she is a nice complement to your power. My children have been bullied in school and have also been overwhelmed by pressure. I think some of the most gifted people simply feel too much and are unable to take on a heavy load. Who cares? Let them live life, share their gifts, find happiness, and light the world the way they were meant to. I'm happy that Charlotte saw the gem of a friend in you and hope your friendship continues as long as you both wish; you certainly will have many shared experiences to reminisce about. Bless you, Jonathan, and stay well.
22:54 on 02/11/2012
Such a maturely written and insightful article. I think you are wonderful. I have suffered depression; to be in the midst of it is no less than hell itself, a terrifying and exhausting state of being, but to come through it, to see the sun again, to remember the experience of genuine joy - what you have given people in your writing and sharing of your story is a message of hope that the only way out is through and if you hold on the darkness will pass. Hope is the saving grace of depression. You have done a beautiful, brave and good thing and I wish you all the strength and joy in the world.
10:01 on 31/10/2012
you should write also Jon
18:00 on 17/10/2012
Jonothan, I wanted you to know that as a straight man, every single time I hear you and charlotte sing, every single time, I cry. And not just a little teary eyed, I mean full out cry.

You and Charlotte sing with such emotion, such heart, it makes me feel something that almost no other music can make me feel. I wanted to thank you for that.

I also wanted to say that your power comes from your relationship with Charlotte. I know fame and money can be life changing, but they can also be life changing in negative ways that affect your relationships to the people around you. Stay grounded, the friendship and companionship that you two have together is what makes your music 100X more powerful, so always remember and treasure that. You are a lucky man, not because you have money and fame, but because you have somebody that stands up for you, respects you, and is always there for you. That's worth all the money in the world.
06:28 on 11/10/2012
Jonathan, thank you my friend..thank you. What a story, what an inspiration. I want you to know that. I have become a very strong fan of you and Charlotte. You are just so great. With respect, Spencer Utah, USA
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MtnMojo
03:22 on 05/10/2012
Eloquently written. It is nice to see you starting to believe in yourself..and finding your center, your strength. The music on the album shows much emotion from both of you...which in my opinion, makes it even more special. Enjoy today!
photo
howlando
Deprogrammed Liberal
05:02 on 29/09/2012
I personally can't believe there were negative comments on this, it's infuriating.

Remember this Jonathan, the number of people who love you for who you are, far, far outnumber the jerks in the world.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Pietro Sommavilla
18:47 on 28/09/2012
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.” - Buddha

Hope this helps ;-)
17:06 on 28/09/2012
BGT and shows of that ilk depress me.
16:17 on 28/09/2012
All the nasty comments on here about Jonathan means some of you are jellous of him. No matter what he looked like his confidence was so low when he walked on that stage on BGT you could see peoples faces and the sniggering until he started to sing and he lite the room. To have a standing ovation like they did was something special. You can come out with nasty comments and horrible little remarks but do you know i would pay to see them both because they are talented which is more than i can say for some of you on here.
This comment has been removed.
This comment has been removed.
13:12 on 28/09/2012
Good for you young man,any form of education on depression is good form as far as Iam concerned and as for the people that knock you because youve had a chance sod them because theyve probably never experianced this dibilitating illness,it doesnt discriminate and can get hold of anybody,black white,gay stright,rich or poor,whats the difference.Highlight the problem and people take notice.All the best
12:56 on 28/09/2012
If your day is a sad day today, remember that always will have a tomorrow. The things around you will never stay so bad forever. Everything changes, someday. And I'm glad that this day already came to you. Never forget, now, that there are people around all the world loving you and wishing the best to you.
I wanna see you fly higher, day after day, and get all the hapiness that you'd already wished, for all your life.
From a friend from Brazil...

The best of luck to you!!!
photo
howlando
Deprogrammed Liberal
10:38 on 28/09/2012
I'm so thrilled that the world must be looking a lot brighter to you after such a tough go of things there for awhile. And great article, a message that may reach someone that really needed to hear it, very inspirational.

Depression is a new experience for me, my house burned down in all the fires here stateside this summer. Along with a lifetime of sheet music and instruments and music collection that I don't know how to even start replacing. I've been trying to deal with it on my own, but its becoming clear I'm going to need a little help.

But, at least since I've been having to get all my music online now, I discovered you and Charlotte a few days ago and have been playing all the videos over and over and over for the last 3 days. I think I just listened to the Rule the World biz session recording about 50 times in a row now.

Totally love you guys, and if you come stateside, I'll be first in line to get a ticket!

Best of luck to you, and hope you insist on taking things at a pace you're comfortable with, your life must be a whirlwind all of a sudden!