THE BLOG

How I Overcame Jealousy in a Relationship

10/02/2015 10:41 GMT | Updated 08/04/2015 10:59 BST

When a girl experiences their partner even looking at another female, it can be a great punch to the gut. I have been with my partner for five years, and yes, he does make the occasional comment about another girl he has seen. The only thing is that now, I am more likely to say 'yeah, she's attractive'.

When this happens in front of my friends, they all ask 'how do you do that, stay so calm?' I would like to say that I have never been a jealous person, but I would most definitely be lying. Quite the contrary, in the first stages of our relationship I was more insecure than ever. Not knowing where you stand with someone is a good enough excuse to start off with, but there are ways to contain the green-eyed monster within.

•Do more things together, just the two of you - There are multiple up sides to this. Firstly, if you are alone together, he has his full attention on you. No other eye candy in sight. Secondly, there is nothing better than some alone time. It gives you the opportunity to just talk and chill out together, and you will learn to appreciate each others company. Whether it be going out on a lunch date at your favourite restaurant, or having a duvet and movie day, you both deserve some precious 'we time'.

•If it's getting too much, tell him - If any mention of other girls is making you feel insecure to the point where you can't sleep at night, tell him. Do not be scared of being called jealous, as in most cases men find it easier if you are honest with them. Without shouting defensively, tell him you sometimes feel uncomfortable when he talks about other women. You will feel better in yourself for speaking your mind and it is a positive way to build self confidence - knowing you deserve more than being made to feel hurt shows that you care about yourself, as well as him.

•Just remember, he chose YOU - There are millions of beautiful girls out there who may even be queuing up to be with him, but at the end of the day, it was you he chose to be with. Men can talk about how they would love to get with a female celebrity crush until the cows come home, but never forget that for all the Jennifer Anistons in the universe, he wouldn't give you up for any of them. He may not say it very often, but it's true.

•And finally - if you can't beat him, join him - This is an amusing tip, as the first time I tried it, my partners face was a picture. The next time he says how attractive another girl is in front of you, tell him you agree, and talk about the things you like about her together. Appreciate that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and however obvious that beauty is, there is nothing wrong in recognising it in another person. You never know, another guy could be saying the same thing about you! Amongst other up sides it can be quite a fun exercise.