THE BLOG

Being 19 And Gay In 2017

06/10/2017 12:11 BST | Updated 06/10/2017 12:11 BST

LGBTQ+ rights and laws have never been better. Diversity and freedom too, it truly is a great time to be gay and who you are, but is it? How are things looking within the LGBTQ+ world?

The LGBTQ+ community is a diverse, colourful array of people. We are just like anyone else. Sometimes you notice us, sometimes you don't. Sometimes we are loud and energetic, but we can also be reserved and quiet.

What I've noticed, as being gay myself, the pressures of fitting into this community is not as easy as it may seem. I'm currently living in Los Angeles where a lot of LGBTQ+ people reside. LA is a great city, cultural, loud and busy but I find it to be very intimidating and demeaning to someone who does class themselves as either gay, lesbian or trans etc.

Being gay, I feel the need to have a certain look, maybe a six-pack, find myself at the gym twice a day, beautiful skin, hair on fleek 24/7, a certain height, a particular wardrobe of clothes and even a certain personality.

Social media has a big part to play when I talk about this topic. I follow numerous attractive, good looking guys on Twitter and Instagram, and happen to know many of them too. They are that typical 'perfect gay'. I'd class them as the kings and queens of our community. They are almost god-like, too attractive for it to be real. Rest assured though, through past experiences, looks aren't everything here. These types of guys use their looks, I feel to undermine others within the community, leave people out, and become rather bitchy amongst one another, people get upset, to sad to even go out and mingle, then finally become depressed and feel incredibly self-conscious about ones appearance.

I'm trying incredibly hard not to generalise with this article, I just wish for a more harmonious community, where everyone can mingle with everyone and get on, rather segregate and judge one another.

As I said before, I currently live in Los Angeles, California - the place where stars are born and made, the movie capital of the world, Hollywood. This place sets the bar even higher for people like me. Since being here, I haven't felt non-stop judged especially from the LGBTQ+ community. If you haven't got a tan, great body, and fabulous hair be prepared to feel alone and like an outsider.

Set aside social media, the online porn industry is another thing which pesters me beyond belief. It's all a façade. Fake, fake and fake. If you expect to climb in bed with a porn star, think again. It rarely happens, and if it does, it would only be for sex, nothing more. For me, sex isn't something I just do with anyone. It is something which takes time, time to feel comfortable with the individual and safe. There are too many people just sleeping around, I mean sure if you want that kind of lifestyle, go for it - but don't hurt people in the process.

The LGBTQ+ community you would think, judging by how much historically it has gone through, would be a beautiful thing to be a part of, free of judgement and open-mindedness, but I'm sorry to say - I feel it isn't any way that. The way it is currently going, the LGBTQ+ community is turning into a terrifying monster eating away at people's true selves.

If you are reading this, and happen to be gay or even straight remember this - be who you want to be, not what others want you to be. Live in a body you feel comfortable with. Have a personality which shines bright without extinguishing's others whose light might not be so bright and just love one another deeper and truer.

Switching off from social media is key too. Distance yourself from it and see how you get on. Online platforms like Instagram and Snapchat only show a face, but not the true emotion and personality of that individual.

For me now, I shall be proud of who I am, be more confident walking down the street and if people judge my looks or personality then by default I could only assume that person is not happy within themselves.

Being 19 and gay has it's challenges but like anything in life, what doesn't? Nobody is ever perfect, people should embrace their differences and not give a monkeys on appearance but rather concentrate on heart, emotion and personality.

Finally, the LGBTQ+ community needs to embrace the younger generation more and not make them feel like an outsider so much. The community is never a closed one and never will be, it is open for everyone.