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Ten Things I Like About Cancer

Posted: 01/12/2012 23:00

Being diagnosed with breast cancer at 29 was both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I'm not saying I haven't been through the most difficult six months of my life and I'm certainly not saying it's been easy. But the whole experience has brought me closer to my family, it's made me reassess what I want from life and it has made me appreciate how lucky I am for everything I've got. And all I've lost is a bit of boob.

Here's a few reasons why the whole cancer experience hasn't been quite so bad:

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1. I dared to cut my long hair super-short for the first time in my life.

And I loved it. Without cancer, I would never have known I looked so freakin' hot as a pixie.

2. I have the most delectably smooth, soft, just-been-waxed legs I've ever had in my entire life.

Yet I haven't shaved my pins for months. Who says hair loss has to be bad?

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I get that call from Gilette Venus to ask me to model for their next smooth-legged goddess campaign...

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3. I have an extraordinary wig collection, and an excuse to have a different hair do every single day.

Whether it's Sinead, Miss Candy Pink, Tiffany, Brandi, Valerie, Samantha or Joana, you'll never see me sporting the same look twice (ok, twice a week - I've only got seven looks, give me credit!)

And I even have the alter egos to match.

4. I got to take a career break.

How often do you get six months off work at 30 years old to rest and look at what you've done so far? It's a bit like a sabbatical, only with less of the travelling and studying and more of the sleeping and visiting the hospital to be poked with a massive needle.

5. I get to lie in bed until 11am, watch Loose Women over lunch in bed and change out of my pyjamas at 3pm before changing back into them at 7pm.

It's just like school summer holidays all over again.

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6. The doctor says I can eat whatever I like.

Yes, that means I can consume the three half-kilo bags of Coconut M&Ms my cousin sent me from America. And the homemade chocolate fudge cake from Betty's my aunt ordered. And the enormous bag of Haribos my girlfriends brought me when I was first diagnosed.

And, what's that you say? You mean I can eat those boob-icing cupcakes my old housemate baked for me? Ah, go on then, you've twisted my arm.

(Nutritionists, please don't have a heart attack - I promise you I'm really not eating all of the above and have already started a new, healthy, no-sugar lifestyle. But a little treat every so often does me no harm, I'm sure. And my Mum still makes me eat Brussels sprouts.)

7. Cancer can bring out the positive in people, and certainly has done in me.

Just look at the incredible Kris Hallenga from Coppafeel! Diagnosed with stage IV secondary breast cancer at 23, did she decide to sit on her arse feeling sorry for herself? Did she hell! She's only gone and made herself CEO of a highly successful, celebrity-endorsed breast cancer awareness charity. She's an absolute superstar and puts most of us to shame.


2012-11-14-IMG_2030.JPG8. I have the best feline nurse in the world.

I swear my cat, Molly, knows when I've had a chemo session. She curls up on my legs to keep me warm and follows me around the house. And when she thinks I'm typing too much, she hijacks my laptop and tells me to get some rest. I don't know what she'll do when I leave my parents' house and go back to work. I wonder if the office would mind me bringing her in?


9. In all my years as a financial journalist in the City, no one ever told me my writing was good.

And now, writing about something I really want to write about, I get compliments every day.

And penning this blog has been the best therapy I ever could have wished for.

10. I am alive.

And I intend to stay this way for as long as possible.

A week or so before I was diagnosed, I saw this mural in Dublin. "U ARE ALIVE - Avail of This "Once in a Lifetime" Opportunity" - these are the wise words of Maser Art, with whom I couldn't agree more. He painted the beautiful mural after the death of his cousin, Richie, and noted that we take so much for granted in life and only ever question it when faced with the prospect of losing it. I hope his mural stays up in Dublin for a long time, and serves as a reminder to all of us that this life is for living.

One thing's for sure: I firmly intend to take his advice and avail of this second chance I've been given.

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Also by Laura Price:

Loading Slideshow...
  • Step 1: Take picture of self with existing hair

    Take picture of self with existing hair.

  • Step 2: Ask friendly local hairdresser to create pixie crop

    Ask friendly local hairdresser to come in on her day off and cut locks into appropriate short style. Take photo of self, being careful to use same clothing, setting and lighting conditions to convey truthful Before and After pics.

  • Step 3: Tame "Something About Mary"-style morning spikes

    Wait approx 3 weeks and enjoy new hair style, being careful to tame early-morning "Something About Mary"-style spikes.

  • Step 4: Begin to pull hair out when ready.

    Begin to pull hair strands out gradually when ready.

  • Step 5a: The Forward Sweep

    When hair is thinning and ready for final chop, try out several punk hairstyles for experimentational purposes. Number One: <em>The Forward Sweep</em>

  • Step 5b; The Sideways Sweep/ Toupée

    Number Two: <em>The Sideways Sweep/ Toupée</em>

  • Step 5c: The Balding Mohican

    Number Three: <em>The Balding Mohican</em>

  • Step 5d: The Arrogant Jedward

    Number Four: <em>The Arrogant Jedward</em>

  • Step 6: Check oneself out in mirror one last time

    Check oneself out in mirror one last time.

  • Step 7: Pull hair out in bath or shower. Or skip to step 9

    Take long bath or shower and slowly pull out hair. Alternatively (and in hindsight) go straight to step 9.

  • Step 8: Examine new Baby-Chick hairstyle

    I give you... <em>The Baby Chick</em>

  • Step 9: Return to local hairdresser for full Sinead shave

    Return to friendly, accommodating hairdresser at short notice and ask for final head-shave. I give you... <em>The Sinead</em>

  • Step 10a: Don wig and adopt alter ego accordingly. Miss Candy Pink

    Don wig of your choice and adopt alter ego accordingly. (Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... <em>Miss Candy Pink!</em>)

  • Step 10b: The slightly more understated Miss Valerie

    ...<em>Miss Valerie</em>

  • CAUTION! Wigs are highly flammable

    Be careful to remove synthetic hairpiece when attempting to cook perfect cheese, mushroom and tomato omelette. Wigs are highly flammable...

  • And finally... Here's one I made earlier

    Here's one I made earlier.

 

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