12 Days of Christmas My Children Gave to Me

08/12/2015 09:43 GMT | Updated 07/12/2016 10:12 GMT

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

A child screaming for a wee

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eight tantrums throwing, seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine Olafs dancing, eight tantrums throwing, seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Ten parents weeping, nine Olafs dancing, eight tantrums throwing, seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eleven bums a-wiping, ten parents weeping, nine Olafs dancing, eight tantrums throwing, seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Twelve headaches thumping, eleven bums a-wiping, ten parents weeping, nine Olafs dancing, eight tantrums throwing, seven gins a-pouring, six nits a-laying, five nappy pins, four swear words, three felt tip pens, two snotty kids and a child screaming for a wee