Recently there have been several things in my life which have knocked me a little bit. I am the first one to admit that I don't take failure well. I have always been someone who does their up-most to be the best that I can be. When situations arise that I have tried so hard to get somewhere but the result isn't what I thought it would be, it hits me hard and it is hard to recover from. It's these times where your character can change and for those around you are indirectly affected by you. This makes the situation even worse as the last thing you want is to upset the ones you love. I have recently done this, it was not my intention to do it but when you are down for whatever reason it is hard to admit it.
I don't think this is a man thing. I don't think it is a disability thing. I think it is just the human mind and a personality trait of many people. I am usually the happy up-beat jack the lad enjoy my time sort of guy but when I get the set-backs it can hit me hard. It just so happens that this happened around the same time of year as I am usually feeling a bit down due to the anniversary of my sight loss. So during an already tough time of year I had another couple of set-backs and instead of finding the courage to talk with my partner about it, I tried to ride it out. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. When I most needed a chat and a cuddle from her, I instead behaved like an attention seeking child craving the attention of her to take my mind off the troubles I was not finding the will to talk to her about. How could she know how much I was being affected by the things going on outside of our little world when I wouldn't let her in?
I am even finding these words very difficult to write and admit to the fact I need a bit of professional help to get over these issues.
If you have read any of my writing before, you will know I am a joker, I make light of most things, but mental health is no laughing matter and I don't think it makes me a weak person to admit that I need the help, I think it makes me stronger and will hopefully stop it from happening again.
I am not sure if I am really in a position to be offering advice to anyone right now but if you will indulge me that would be great.
Don't ever make life difficult for those around you if you are feeling down, if they truly love you they will talk with you and it's far better to get things out in the open and talk about them than bottle them up and indirectly upset those around you. We all have our demons, just be strong and find the courage to vanquish them before you make life worse not only for yourself but for those around you who love and care about you. They are your support network, they will be there for you. But they will also walk away if you persist to treat them badly.
So, if you need help, be it professional or from a loved one, be strong, be brave and although it seems like it is the most difficult thing in the world to do, just talk to someone.
That's it for now,
Until next time.Suggest a correction