THE BLOG

Why Women Really Cheat - The Darker Side of the Fairer Sex!

03/03/2014 11:34 GMT | Updated 01/05/2014 10:59 BST

I had only just released the book 'Why Men Really Cheat' and no sooner had the first story hit the net, my inboxes were beeping furiously, inundated with more requests than a radio DJ and more criticism than a Miley Cyrus performance. How dare I leave the other half of the equation unsolved?

First of all, I'm going to do the guys a favour. Shut the hell up!!

Whenever, a woman asks 'Why do men cheat?', YOU are the number one suspect!

So your response should be to smile and say openly, 'That's an interesting question...I really have no idea.' before continuing. Otherwise, you're in a world of trouble. With your back to the wall and no intellectual retort to retaliate with, responding with 'Women cheat too' just sounds defensive, like you've got something to hide; and now, (at the very least), you have a slightly suspicious lady on your hands. Not good!

Conversely, when some women say, 'Women cheat too', a few females sound like the slighted sociopathic killer Alice from the BBC series Luther; infuriated by the perceived snub and initial lack of accolades received from Idris Elba's lead character. How dare you fail to recognise her brilliance in exacting a perfectly executed killing spree without getting caught?

So why haven't I included women who cheat in the book? I'm a fool, if I think they don't cheat as much as men do nowadays right? From giving adulterous sidekicks harmless pseudonyms in their mobile phones to sliding an illicit rendezvous in between leaving work early and picking up milk on the journey home. From knowing she'll never get caught because the 'silly girl' confides all her suspicions of the other woman to you, her best friend. Who IS the other woman! Yeah I know a few of the tactics....

But the answer's simple.... I haven't researched the area (yet!) You wouldn't want me to guess without any evidence to back up my claims. Women never want a man to guess. He should know; and they want to see if he's smart enough to get it right. Can he discover the real reason behind her stepping out on him? The book on Why Men Really Cheat is truly fascinating, but from a psychological point of view the woman's version might be mind-blowing!

Let's face it, the female's journey throughout human history is far more intriguing and ever-evolving than the males'. From the Suffragette movement to the Beyoncé Knowles-Carter infusion of modern day independence, iconic women have always screamed 'we can do this too'; defiantly bucking the trend of male dominance.

Their history and the varied excuses they provide for infidelity, (intertwined with their unique patterns of behaviour), will paint a picture more intricate than the roof of the Sistine chapel. Women are always faced with more d**ks than a room full of Richard's and only they know how they handle that. (Yes, that was a blatant double entendre, use it as you like).

If you follow the stereotypical notion that female patterns of behaviour will be laced with emotion, attention-seeking, revenge, the need for an upgrade (women rarely downgrade), malice, anger and idealism; all nicely concealed in a cloak of invisibility that would make Harry potter jealous then we may uncover something phenomenal. All the classic ingredients are there for a discussion on one of the most taboo of topics; 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' and all that!

Bearing in mind a regularly held perception that 'women cheat as much as men, they just know how to hide it better...' Maybe the time has come to explore this idea more closely.

Is it true?

Do women know how to hide it better or is it just society failing to suspect their sweet, demure, innocent looking ladies of the behaviour that men wear like boxer shorts?

I might enjoy stripping down thousands of women to expose the truth; as they air their dirty laundry and bear themselves completely..... without removing an item of clothing. Let the discussions begin....