You have been following the news. You consider yourself politically alert...
The new royal baby is set to come in time for the May half-term school holidays. So why not give something back to the doting British public who are rushing out to buy souvenirs to celebrate the birth? Last time more than £250million was spent in shops when baby George was born.
'Who are you going to vote for, June?' - This is the question I am regularly being asked by friends and colleagues. But what is the option? Do I vote for the political leader or the manifesto?
The UK is not at the vanguard of parental equality. The imbalance between mothers' and fathers' leave in the UK is among the highest in the OECD. But a rare benefit of lagging behind more forward-thinking nations is that we can wait to see what works (and shamelessly copy it).
To censor myself, or adapt my Blog, to remove mention of the maternal, would amount to succumbing to the taboo of mentioning - let alone promoting - mothering and maternal care, and to the unease with which women often feel in proclaiming their rights or protecting the interests of themselves or their families.
I have recently procured the services of a young 20 something year old personal assistant. She is a single mother of a five year old and wanted some part time work to not only bring income into her household but also to stimulate her mind.
No mainstream political party seeks to recognise or place value on the prospect of a parent at home, doing the work of childcare and supporting the family. We may only speak of childcare being productive and valuable if it is performed by strangers, for a fee, and under the guise of 'Early Years Education'.
Grandparents are supposed to have the pleasure of playing with their grandkids, then handing them back. But these days, with the rising cost of childcare, it's like they are being parents all over again.
So, where does that leave a mother who wishes to stay at home and raise her family? Between a party who loathes them, a party who patronises them and a party who ignores them.
Unless you're Meryl the culture won't allow you to age. The opportunities available suddenly become a role-call of grannies, witches and victims of dementia.
The work of raising children doesn't seem to be viewed with real respect. If it were, parental leave for working parents would be fully paid, it would last longer, and it would include equal amounts of time for both parents.
This week there was a report about the rising costs of childcare in the UK, which is indeed a big problem for parents. Yet I kept reading how this was an issue for working mothers or mothers returning to the workplace, never about fathers.
Recent weeks have given us a sobering reminder of the dreadful impact of child sexual exploitation. The further revelations regarding Rotherham coupled with the announcements of new investigations in Manchester, Halifax and Essex, reinforce the belief that we are only beginning to scratch the surface of this emerging national blight.
I guess what myself and my mummy tantrum are trying to say is that rather than being strong and brave through it all, wouldn't it sometimes be a refreshing relief to admit how hard all parenting decisions are and how we bloody dread having to make them?
Increasing paid paternity leave from two weeks to four weeks might sound like a small step, but it's an essential one. It goes someway to creating an equitable system that sees mums and dads as equal and able... What's not to like?
One of the biggest scandals of the last five years has been the way that Sure Start children's centres have been allowed to wither and die... Now the Labour Party says that these ghost ships could be revitalised by offering 50,000 childcare places.