Everyday it's the same. I go to the bathroom, check my flab in the full length mirror and hit the scales, applauding the meagre pound or two I've shed only to build it up with calories from an uncontrolled diet. It's a cycle that's enough to make a fitness guru cry in their chicken breast salad. For me it's a procedure of mixed blessings.
And so I feel for Kim Jong-un, who's also a fatty with no desire to do anything about it, except obliterate any mention of his fatness in the media. Apparently, North Korean officials have asked China to ban any references to him as "Kim Fatty the Third," a nickname so popular, it gets suggested by auto-complete on China's leading search engine, Baidu.
The government's plan contains several good components, but I know that many experts in the field, many health care professionals and probably many parents will feel disappointed that it does not go far enough...there is a real danger that the government's plan will deliver too little, too late, and that major opportunities will have been missed.
I don't think I quite comprehended the question when the BBC rang me for a comment. In a week where it felt like a tiny step had been made for mankind (the potential for brands to be financially punished for not cutting sugar out of their fizzy pop) I was genuinely being asked if I thought we should ban elasticated trousers as they might encourage obesity.
My alarm went off at 6am this morning and I was extremely tired after having a very restless nights sleep dreaming about cream cakes, biscuits and chocolate. Now this is not a normal occurrence for me, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth but also do not unnecessarily restrict my intake of such things if I fancy them, but I guess I can take them or leave them.
In addition to the objects of our desires becoming far more interested in the sharing of our suddenly precious body heat surpluses (and the acts of depravity that inevitably accompany it) we also benefit from body heat and bulk as regards our own comfort- as comedian Dara O Briain puts it, we "winter well".